Solf J Kimblee (
explosivecombat) wrote2014-05-13 09:23 am
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Entry tags:
- !ic,
- *text,
- @blu sniper,
- @carmen sandiego (here she is),
- @envy,
- @frank archer's utter lack of subtlety,
- @greed's poor life choices,
- @jimmy two-shoes,
- @walter,
- admittedly kind of asking for it,
- but is everyone mad about genocide,
- god is dead and my tl;dr has killed him,
- good ideas are clearly relative concepts,
- hell are you even,
- i used to be hardcore,
- just thought he'd ask,
- like a brick to the face,
- look at your life; look at your choices,
- my social skills are flawless,
- professor of fauxlosophy,
- slacking off like hell,
- texting into the void,
- this is really stupid,
- why we can't have nice things
033. [Text]
The standard example of existential anguish is said to be standing on the edge of a cliff or other high place; there inevitably comes a moment in most self-aware individuals where they experience the realization that not only do they fear falling to their death, but there's nothing stopping them from throwing themselves off. I've always found it strange that a moment of experiencing true freedom like that would be considered distressing rather than a relief; knowing that there's nothing holding me back - that I am in full control of my own choices, whether it's to stand perfectly still or throw myself off - and there is nothing pre-written into whatever it is that I am that will dictate what I do either way is something I've always found calming.
It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?
If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.
For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?
I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.
Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.
(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)
It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?
If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.
For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?
I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.
Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.
(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)
Voice
The only part of your lil' speech that's true is that you can learn how to not be afraid of things. You stare'em in the eye, and if you walk you'll find that you're not scared of'em anymore. 'Course it's damn hard to do so, which is why we've got a whole generation of soft kids who'd run screaming the moment a Redback drops on their heads. Ain't got a drop of courage in any of their sorry hides, and too lazy to even try. All a buncha no hopers.
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However, there are other sorts of fear that aren't driven by logic or instinctual necessity - enclosed spaces where one is perfectly safe, for example. Crowds. Too much eye contact. Dolls. Insects, harmless or otherwise. And then there are deeper fears that I have to question the source of - that sort of existential fear that I mentioned, where one fears their own humanity, morality, mortality and lack of boundaries beyond that which they inflict on themselves.
It's those latter ones that I tend to think about, moreso - they serve no real purpose with regards to survival, they simply seem to exist because we're capable of thinking about things too much.
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[dead philosophers]
What precipice prompted this bout of self-reflection?
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It's just something I think about from time to time, though; I have quite a few topics I revisit once in a while. The concept of fear is one that's been driving at me a bit lately; there are things that may have brought it on, true, but I've...
[And he actually stops himself, and he looks at that, and...well.]
Ah, I'm doing it again, aren't I - not answering the question, instead circling around it and making you ask.
Some of my former employers have shown up recently. That family I've told you about in the past. It's unpleasant for me, in some ways.
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That's a lot of people you know turning up lately, isn't it? First Fullmetal, and now the family.
They haven't tried to hire you on again, have they?
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I mean I guess I could try not to be scared of it if I wanted to. But it's that sorta thing that you can't really help, I guess. Like if someone's...I dunno, really scared of heights, but no matter how much they try or how much they go to really high places to get over it, they're still scared and always will be. Not that they aren't trying to face their fear or that they don't want to get over it, it's just something they can't for some reason. ...If that makes sense.
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People have a personality that'd send them one way or the other, but that's the most predetermined it gets.
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I don't think it falls under "choice," but I have to question what causes that, exactly, and predetermination is the only thing that I can think of that might explain it; I've never experienced it properly, but my own circumstances are a bit unusual in that I tend to not find certain things horrific when I presumably should, given everyone else's reaction to them.
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Dolls is more interesting, I know from experience that humans are easily frightened by things that look like them but aren't quite right.
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text;
Some of it probably does have to come down to personality, because I'm certain that there are people out there who overcome their fears or whatever. There's also probably some amount of predestination involved that is merely leading a person to the inevitable conclusion that comes with their personality.
I'll be honest, though-- I'm probably not the best person to answer this question because I fear very little, but I've enjoyed our past conversations.
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You really are a flatterer.
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In any case, I do have my own set of fears but they come from what I am specifically. I can't speak for others like me but there is a set pattern to them anyway from what I've seen.
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[TEXT]
After a moment of thought, Archer finally responds.]
Why are you asking this? Are you bored?
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It's not that I don't have enough to do; I just happen to enjoy seeing how people answer things like this.
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2/2 - locked from here on out
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[text]
If someone finds that kind of thing distressing then it's because they've been hobbled by too much comfort already. Greatness has to be caught in midair, it doesn't crawl along the ground.
[He is not going to talk about his icthyophobia here. Way too undignified for a conversation with The Other Other Lilith. But other than that...all this talk of predetermination has his head spinning a little. Glossing over that, too.]
I can't say I fear much besides dying unsatisfied with myself. You can imagine what the choices are there right? And I take the one that doesn't involve self delusion.
[walter]
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From the sound of it, and judging from our previous conversations, you're very invested in knowing yourself and owning what it is you do - you want to control your own destiny, to have everything that happens to you happen under your terms. Everything happens for a reason and that reason is cause and effect; fate and predestination likely won't interest you any simply because it ruins that aspect of control - it makes your life less yours and more someone else's to impact as they see fit, whether that someone is God or someone else acting under the supposed will of God (or Fate, or Truth, or whatever you want to call it).
Am I right so far?
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Nearly. I just reject the notion that any man or god has control of anything by any means but earthly power. If one is stronger than I then they naturally have claim to bring that strength against me. There's no natural order but that and thus there's no reason to be complacent.
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Video
[text]
Does he, now? I'm assuming that's due to the lack of fear of falling.
I've never been a performer, unfortunately, but I'll bear that in mind regardless.