explosivecombat | 033. [Text]

033. [Text]

The standard example of existential anguish is said to be standing on the edge of a cliff or other high place; there inevitably comes a moment in most self-aware individuals where they experience the realization that not only do they fear falling to their death, but there's nothing stopping them from throwing themselves off. I've always found it strange that a moment of experiencing true freedom like that would be considered distressing rather than a relief; knowing that there's nothing holding me back - that I am in full control of my own choices, whether it's to stand perfectly still or throw myself off - and there is nothing pre-written into whatever it is that I am that will dictate what I do either way is something I've always found calming.

It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?

If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.

For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?

I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.

Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.

(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fear's natural, mate. It's part of your instinct; tells ya if you've walked right into a big mess and how much trouble you've landed yourself in. If people didn't feel fear, then you'd have a lot of idiots mucking about in places that they can't handle. If they ain't gonna take the time to toughen up, then they got no right to be there.

The only part of your lil' speech that's true is that you can learn how to not be afraid of things. You stare'em in the eye, and if you walk you'll find that you're not scared of'em anymore. 'Course it's damn hard to do so, which is why we've got a whole generation of soft kids who'd run screaming the moment a Redback drops on their heads. Ain't got a drop of courage in any of their sorry hides, and too lazy to even try. All a buncha no hopers.

I've no doubt that fear is natural, but I suppose the difference for me lies in the distinction between instinct and phobias, and wariness and fear - obviously, one should be wary of those with obvious intent to do harm, or something powerful and monstrous that one has never seen before. One should be wary of the dark. One should be wary of abnormal situations in which one's life is on the line. All of that is natural and understandable and part of the will to survive, as is the fight-or-flight response that humans experience in response to that wariness.

However, there are other sorts of fear that aren't driven by logic or instinctual necessity - enclosed spaces where one is perfectly safe, for example. Crowds. Too much eye contact. Dolls. Insects, harmless or otherwise. And then there are deeper fears that I have to question the source of - that sort of existential fear that I mentioned, where one fears their own humanity, morality, mortality and lack of boundaries beyond that which they inflict on themselves.

It's those latter ones that I tend to think about, moreso - they serve no real purpose with regards to survival, they simply seem to exist because we're capable of thinking about things too much.

You just answered your own question then. People are dead bored and they've got too much time one their hands, they've got nothin' better to do than over think things. Look, life doesn't have to get any more complicated than it is. Jus' do what ya have to do to survive. It's as simple as that.

I can't even begin to imagine how disinteresting your life must be, if that's what you take away from that.

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