explosivecombat: (It's no accident that I've survived)
Solf J Kimblee ([personal profile] explosivecombat) wrote2014-05-13 09:23 am

033. [Text]

The standard example of existential anguish is said to be standing on the edge of a cliff or other high place; there inevitably comes a moment in most self-aware individuals where they experience the realization that not only do they fear falling to their death, but there's nothing stopping them from throwing themselves off. I've always found it strange that a moment of experiencing true freedom like that would be considered distressing rather than a relief; knowing that there's nothing holding me back - that I am in full control of my own choices, whether it's to stand perfectly still or throw myself off - and there is nothing pre-written into whatever it is that I am that will dictate what I do either way is something I've always found calming.

It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?

If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.

For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?

I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.

Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.

(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)
exeggutorhead: (c'mon what's the worst that could happen)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-13 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Judging by what reminded you of this in the first place...

Brutally murdered?
exeggutorhead: (well this will be fun)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-14 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
Serves them right for messing around with human transmutation.

Should I ask with what, or just leave it alone?
exeggutorhead: (lol u gais)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-14 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
Then I won't ask.

Still, it's funny. There's a secret underneath my version of Central too. Not an army of the vicious undead, but still.
exeggutorhead: (mildly frustrated)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-14 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, but it's just the one city under there instead of a whole country. Central's not that big.

I'd wondered if you'd met the others who've shown up lately.


[He doesn't actually mind if Greed told Kimblee about the city, seeing as how he was about to tell Kimblee about it himself. But still...ugh, Greed. Telling people stuff.]
exeggutorhead: (casual conversation)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-14 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Right, Lust is here.

She's the one from my world. And you already know that Greed is too, if he was telling you about the city.
exeggutorhead: (casual conversation)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-15 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, Fullmetal's back, you might have heard him shrieking at the network. And there's some alchemist named Russell I've never met before, he said he knew Ed. Didn't give me a last name or anything to let me know which of our worlds he was from.

There's someone else from my version of things, Scar. I don't think he's any threat to you, he sure didn't knock my head off my shoulders for giving him details about our group to his face, so he might have given up on that whole state alchemist business too.


[Guess who has no idea about Scar and Kimbley. This guy.]
exeggutorhead: (hmm?)

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[personal profile] exeggutorhead 2014-05-15 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)
There's no question, he was asking me about things that he could only have known about if he was from my Amestris.

Why?