explosivecombat: (It's no accident that I've survived)
Solf J Kimblee ([personal profile] explosivecombat) wrote2014-05-13 09:23 am

033. [Text]

The standard example of existential anguish is said to be standing on the edge of a cliff or other high place; there inevitably comes a moment in most self-aware individuals where they experience the realization that not only do they fear falling to their death, but there's nothing stopping them from throwing themselves off. I've always found it strange that a moment of experiencing true freedom like that would be considered distressing rather than a relief; knowing that there's nothing holding me back - that I am in full control of my own choices, whether it's to stand perfectly still or throw myself off - and there is nothing pre-written into whatever it is that I am that will dictate what I do either way is something I've always found calming.

It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?

If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.

For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?

I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.

Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.

(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)
doitrockapella: (PLACATE ❖ lol okay whatever you say)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't honestly say it'd be the first time I've contemplated it.
doitrockapella: (PLEASED ❖ aww yeah let's get educational)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 09:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Does that mean you're willing to return the favor?
doitrockapella: (ROPE ❖ just this and forced perspective)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Some might disagree, when you consider the nature of the favor. But I also doubt most people would share our mutual penchant for experiencing the rush of gravity.

How long can I expect to have the pleasure of your company?
doitrockapella: (VAN GOGH ❖ more like van gone amirite)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
You might be gone awhile.
doitrockapella: (CONFIDENT ❖ why yes i speak jive)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Are you worried about missing your curfew?
doitrockapella: (PIN ❖ the better to burst your bubble)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-13 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, in the interest of nipping another game of "how long can we answer each other's questions with more questions" in the bud, I think I can come up with enough diversions to keep you entertained well past your curfew.
doitrockapella: (HOOK ❖ come on up and stay awhile)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Does that put you in a better mood?

My fears are all acquired ones, by the way. I'm one of the ones who responds to my fears by making myself face them.
doitrockapella: (BOW ❖ holy shit was that an honorific)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
...Ghosts and the dark, wasn't it?
doitrockapella: (OBSERVE ❖ you put the lime where)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
A...Gengar? I remember we've discussed our mutual problems with that line before.

...

Do I want to know how those two things go together?
doitrockapella: (VAN GOGH ❖ more like van gone amirite)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 12:39 am (UTC)(link)
...If you don't mind.

That's not just a formality, I mean — it's obviously not pleasant to talk about, but I'd like to know, if you're all right with it.
doitrockapella: (REVEAL ❖ it's everything and nothing)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
[Well, shit. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there's a pretty long pause here. But she did say she wanted to hear it, and she's still thinking about what she said earlier, about facing things rather than avoiding them.]

So the lion must've...incapacitated you, and the eldest —

[...Nope, she can't even say it.]

Is that the last thing you remember, from before you were brought back here?
doitrockapella: (DISBELIEF ❖ that's as many as four tens)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Isn't that how you said a Philosopher's Stone works? You use the souls as currency and then exchange them for alchemy?

...

The people are conscious for that?
doitrockapella: (WIND ❖ surely there are aliems about)

[personal profile] doitrockapella 2014-05-14 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
...Well, I always knew you were exceptional.

Is that what happened, though? The stone was used for alchemy and all the souls were...used up?

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