explosivecombat: (It's no accident that I've survived)
Solf J Kimblee ([personal profile] explosivecombat) wrote2014-05-13 09:23 am

033. [Text]

The standard example of existential anguish is said to be standing on the edge of a cliff or other high place; there inevitably comes a moment in most self-aware individuals where they experience the realization that not only do they fear falling to their death, but there's nothing stopping them from throwing themselves off. I've always found it strange that a moment of experiencing true freedom like that would be considered distressing rather than a relief; knowing that there's nothing holding me back - that I am in full control of my own choices, whether it's to stand perfectly still or throw myself off - and there is nothing pre-written into whatever it is that I am that will dictate what I do either way is something I've always found calming.

It begs the question, however - do we choose our fears, and more importantly, do we choose how we respond to them?

If nothing is predetermined and everything about our lives comes down to choice, it makes sense to me that our fears also have to come down to choice, whether consciously or not. The part I'm not entirely sure of is the response.

For example, if one is attacked by some sort of animal, it makes sense that one would fear that animal. However, the response to animal attacks tend to vary - some will try to minimize their contact with that sort of animal as much as they can, while others will immerse themselves in it and attempt to desensitize themselves. Is there a particular thing that predetermines what choice a person is going to make?

I'm curious about your thoughts on it; you don't have to detail what fears you have and how you handle them, though if you would like to that might be helpful. I'm more interested in whether you think this sort of thing comes down to ingrained personality - something more inherent, I suppose - or personal choice, and whether such a thing can be changed.

Answer me anonymously if you wish; as always, your response is of more interest to me than your identity, and quite frankly I'm not in the mood to judge either way.

(As for the existential anguish, I've found over the years that I get the greatest satisfaction from neither the thought of staying put, nor the thought of throwing myself off - I've always enjoyed the notion that if I stand on the edge long enough, perhaps someone will act on their compulsion to put their hands against my back and shove.)
beholdmydemons: (... - shut up navarre)

[text]

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-14 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Fear is something felt. And what's felt and what's known can come together but aren't one and the same.
beholdmydemons: (unhappy - the fuck is that)

[text]

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-14 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[.........????]

Were you human before?
beholdmydemons: (talk - weird squint)

[text]

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-14 11:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps because that sounds like something an angel would say except putting reason where righteousness would go.

If you don't feel emotion and you don't believe in righteousness then what satisfies you?
beholdmydemons: (... - you've got to be shitting me)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-15 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
I hope you don't mean that being a weapon tripe.
beholdmydemons: (unhappy - smelled a peallaidh)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-15 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
I've just never heard such nonsense in my life even from the other side.
beholdmydemons: (anger - call bull)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-15 08:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[Man, nobody ever asks him questions like this with the intention of hearing what he has to say. A guy could get used to this. Except for the part where he has a headache.]

With all the choices in the world at your feet you'd rather cast it all away? That's what the beaten down do when they know no better. It strikes me as unnatural. And doesn't it cause just the opposite of a world shaped by the strong if people allow others to use them instead of bringing their own power to bear?
beholdmydemons: (... - shut up navarre)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-16 02:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[what???]

And that's different how?
Edited 2014-05-16 14:09 (UTC)
beholdmydemons: (... - you've got to be shitting me)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-16 03:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[nah he's just not as enlightened about this shit as he wants to think he is

also expected the answer to be semantics]


And that sounds not at all suspect.
beholdmydemons: (talk - blink)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-16 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)
What?

[Let him replay those last few comments...]

Can't you explain how those two things are different without telling the entire tale?
beholdmydemons: (... - awkward)

[personal profile] beholdmydemons 2014-05-16 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[...O-OH...]

Thank you. It's a small return on the favor but I don't have anything to hide of my situation if you do ever wish to be told of that.

[WALTER]