NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[doitrockapella]

It's a suspension bridge; one of the most famous in the world. That line of light is actually a road for cars to travel across, and the smattering of smaller lights on the left side of the horizon are part of the downtown area of the city I grew up near. The bridge itself has those two distinctive towers, one on each side, and it's about two miles long, all told.

[explosivecombat]

It's lovely; I've never seen anything quite like it, actually.

[doitrockapella]

The night I was brought here, I had the chance to look out my old window at that bridge. That's what I was doing just before I woke up in New Bark.

[explosivecombat]

Is it one of those sights that never gets old for you, then?

[doitrockapella]

Something like that. It makes me want to go home.

[explosivecombat]

With a view like that, I can't say I blame you.

[doitrockapella]

Speaking of going places, I saw the news the other day. Can I assume I'm off sequester now?

[explosivecombat]

Everything should be fine from here, yes.

I assume you'll be pleased about that much, at least.

[doitrockapella]

I'm ecstatic. Do you want to know how many fish I caught today?

[explosivecombat]

Go on. I'm actually curious now.

[doitrockapella]

Four Tentacool and a Carvanha. Also someone's misplaced boot, but given that that's not a fish, it doesn't count for the purposes of the question.

[explosivecombat]

You know, I can never decide if the idea of fishing is somewhat fascinating or entirely too disgusting to fathom; the latter has been winning out impressively over the former thus far.

I have been enjoying being able to see the ocean in general, however.

[doitrockapella]

Are you still in Fuchsia?

[explosivecombat]

No.

I generally don't stay in the cities I attack for very long; unless I'm required to stay somewhere, I usually leave as soon as my work is finished.

[doitrockapella]

With weather like this, I could be going through tomorrow, if I wanted.

And then I'm off again, and my whereabouts will be a mystery even to you once more.

[explosivecombat]

That's nice; you aren't getting mine, either, so we're even on that front.

[doitrockapella]

Well, isn't this a role reversal.

But no, that wasn't the suggestion of a game this time. Just fond musing on what a pleasure it was to have you know where I was for awhile.

[explosivecombat]

You're the only one who makes it so I don't, and you don't stop pointing it out after the fact.

So don't give me this "it was a pleasure to have you know" business.

[doitrockapella]

Were there any other ways you wanted to stamp out my attempts at a good mood while you were at it, then?

[explosivecombat]

Does it really not occur to you how legitimately grating it is when you do that?

[doitrockapella]

[ ... :|a ]

Oh. Wait, hold on.

[...]

All right, I think...I see what it is.

[explosivecombat]

Go on.

[doitrockapella]

I made a passing remark without putting too much thought into the implications, received an answer that made me feel like I was being brushed off, compensated for it by pretending the brush-off didn't bother me, ended up called on that, tried again to recover, and ended up producing a whole chain of discourse that happens frequently enough to irritate you when it comes up. I think it's because I'm coming off defensive and dodgy instead of being straightforward, and that bothers you...?

I was aiming for some outcome, missed, and in trying to correct for it, made things worse instead. I think.

[explosivecombat]

Not even close.

Contact me again once you've worked it out, not before.

[doitrockapella]

I hate this, you know. This...whole cycle, we've done it so many times now and I hate it; I feel like Sisyphus, making so much headway at getting my boulder up the mountain and then every time it slips and I'm back where I started, never wiser, never...

You wanted an answer, not my self-pity. I'm sorry, Teacher; all I can give you is my best this time.

We can't keep doing this to each other. You tell me to work these things out for myself and then put me through my paces wanting to see if I can arrive at the right answer; maybe that does help me learn but it pushes me away, too. You're holding my fate over my head like I've mistakenly landed myself in a minefield and if I make one wrong step in getting out of it, it all blows up in my face. I'm not arguing that I'm not wrong; I'm sure I am, regardless of whether or not I can give you the answer you're looking for, because it's wrong that we're in this standoff in the first place and I know that's my fault. But it's wrong that this is my punishment for it. I don't want to keep ending up like this, and it's not as easy as just saying, "Then stop putting yourself there, Locke". You're half of this, too. It goes both ways.

No one's going to die if you're wrong, too, Nietzsche. I know that's not what you want to hear but please, something about this has to change. Please, there has to be a better way than to keep doing this to ourselves, because sooner or later one or both of us aren't going to be able to take it anymore.

Please.

This isn't the answer you wanted, but this is what I've worked out in the time you've given me. Please. I'm sorry. I can't write you an essay and tell you why I was wrong and promise it'll never happen again, and wait with bated breath hoping for a passing mark that will get us past this one more time.

Bitte. Es tut mir leid. Dies einmal, kann das genug sein?