006. [Text/Action for Goldenrod City/Northern Route 34]

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT]

While I suppose it matters relatively little in the long run, morbid curiosity compels -

Exactly how driven are most of you to complete this 'challenge' that's been set forth, and what drives you to complete it in the first place - what do you have to return to?

[ACTION]

[A short time after that text hits the network, Kimblee can be found just outside of Goldenrod City, on the northern end of Route 34; if the question is at all related to anything he's currently doing, it's not obvious in the least...outside of the part where maybe the Pokémon he's dealing with might be making him not want to live on this planet anymore.

Basically, his Yanma evolved.

Fortunately for him, the hellbug she has become seems to have retained her personality despite the evolution. She's honestly always been more like a dog than an oversized dragonfly; now she's just...well, a sufficiently larger dog. As such, she's bringing Kimblee a decently-sized stick to toss off into the nearby cluster of trees for her to chase; Kimblee is complying with her, albeit warily - he's never had much of a poker face, and while he seems generally calm, it's reasonably plain that he's half-expecting her to do something odd.

Like snap his arm off to get at the stick. Or maybe bring him back a person, or something.

Either way, he's clearly wondering what the hell his life has become. Good afternoon, Johto, it's been a while.]

Comments

[explosivecombat]

Are you calling me a liar, Archer?

[You had best not be calling him a liar if you know what's good for you.]

[determinator]

If I was going to call you a liar, I wouldn't bother doing it so backhandedly.

[...Well. Maybe.]

I'm merely questioning whether or not that's your entire reason.

[Lying by omission totally isn't lying!]

[explosivecombat]

Lies by omission are still -

[...oh, hang on, here comes Abdiel at rather alarming speed, though she stops before she actually collides with anyone. Please tell him she has - ...okay, good, that's the stick and not, you know, a small child.

Excuse Kimblee while he side-eyes his massive bug for a moment and tries to work out the best way to get the stick back.]

...speaking of omissions, I suppose I should be grateful for this?

[determinator]

[Well, so much for a serious conversation. Really, he should have known better.]

[Anyway, Archer won't respond for several seconds as he stares wide-eyed at that massive thing now herping its derp at Kimblee. What in the good fuck is that.]

Kim...blee...

[Oh look, you must have rubbed off on him! His whole brain is crying.]

1/2

[explosivecombat]

[O...kay...can he just take the oh of course not, naturally she's going to pull away from him...come on, Abdiel, you have to give him the damn stick so he can throw it and he is not about to try to wrench it away from you, you are longer than he is tall - ]

Oh, don't act as though you had no idea...

[explosivecombat]

[...and then he'll actually look at you.

YOU HAVE TO BE JOKING.]

...you genuinely had no idea, did you?

[determinator]

[This would be hilarious if it wasn't so horrifying. Bugs aren't supposed to be that big.]

...What... am I looking at...?

[explosivecombat]

[...oh, Archer.

You can just have the most mocking introductory gesture toward that bug, thank you very much.]

This would be Abdiel. Surely you remember that Yanma you gave me as a gift recently?

[determinator]

That's... not possible. Yanma doesn't have an evolution.

[O...kay... let's try to recover! Just going to pretend that bug doesn't exist for the time being, if you don't mind.]

[explosivecombat]

Either it has an evolution or I had some sort of tremendous hallucination recently - one that we're both sharing, by the way, given that you're clearly seeing it, too.

Since I don't think either of us have issues quite that large, I think it's safe to say that you're mistaken.

[determinator]

[...Are we sure our issues aren't that large? Because there's no way in hell this is actually happening.]

...When did it evolve?

[explosivecombat]

[Our issues are not that large. :|]

Yester...day - there.

[HE HAS FINALLY MANAGED TO GET THAT GODDAMN STICK. EXCUSE HIM WHILE HE THROWS IT TO GET THIS DAMN BUG OUT OF HIS FACE

...okay, sorry, were we saying something?]

It evolved yesterday, in the middle of a training session. I wasn't exactly amused.

[determinator]

[...Sure, Kimblee.]

Obviously. What the hell did you do?

[It shouldn't have evolved at all - you must have screwed something up to get that horrid abomination.]

Well, you certainly seem... comfortable with it.

[Kimblee, that's a gigantic bug in case you haven't noticed. You should be freaking the fuck out. Why are you okay with this?]

[explosivecombat]

I spent a fair amount of time yesterday attempting to...make my peace with it, if you will.

[Loosely translated from Kimblese: I may or may not have spent a fair amount of time yesterday trying to convince Dorian to kill it, confusing both of my Pokémon at once. It was awesome.]

As for what I did, I can't say that I know. I simply trained it as I usually do, and it...evolved. As these things do.

[determinator]

[Oh. Well. That certainly sounds fun.]

That shouldn't have happened. There was nothing about an evolution for Yanma.

[And he certainly did his research, thanks!]

[...Then again, there hadn't been much about Lucena's evolution, and he only found that information on accident. Evidently Yanma does evolve.]

...Well, I assume you've gotten to know what it's capable of now.

[That would be Archerian for "come at me bro."]

[explosivecombat]

Surely you don't think I've been spending all my time throwing sticks for her, now, do you?

[Don't worry, he's fluent enough to translate.]

[determinator]

I'd certainly hope not. It's been quite awhile since we last battled, hasn't it?

[Well, considering he has evolutions for the Houndour, Abra, and received the Porygon from you... yes, it really has been.]

[explosivecombat]

It's been four weeks since we had a formal fight, if I'm not mistaken - so quite some time, yes.

[And he's rather aware that he's not mistaken, thank you.]

...I do hope you don't intend to have that cat on you this time.

[determinator]

[It's really been that long? Well, then, they're overdue for a fight, aren't they?]

No, I've placed her in the PC.

[Don't you want to deal with Fake Out again, Kimblee? Anyway, Archer will send out Maróczy to start.]

Well then, are you prepared?

[explosivecombat]

[GODDAMN IT

WHAT DID THAT DOG DO TO YOU TO DESERVE SUCH A HORRIBLE NAME, ARCHER

WHAT DID IT EVER DO TO YOU]

Always.

[Well, not exactly always, where is his - ...right, there you are, Abdiel, back in the ball with you. He doesn't need Archer setting you on fire immediately; he'll just be sending out Carlisle instead, thanks. It's not actively snowing, but the Ground-type will be nice to have out, he imagines.]

[determinator]

[IT'S A DOG, WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING]

[...AND IT'S NOT THAT HORRIBLE OF A NAME, YOU SHUT UP]

[Anyway, Archer does not like that mammoth, and there's no way he's going to deal with it right now. See, he picked up a few tricks from their last match too, Kimblee!]

Roar, Maróczy.

[Obviously this isn't one of the moves he usually uses, since he actually has to give the command verbally. Maróczy responds by... roaring at the mammoth. Sorry, Kimblee, but we're not dealing with Carlisle right now!]

[explosivecombat]

[THE AMOUNT OF UNIMPRESSED RN - oh well hello there Abdiel, guess you're being let out of the ball sooner than he would prefer. Sorry about that, do try not to die horribly.]

Double Team, then.

[Because really, if he must work with the fragile speedy thing, he will at the very least make her an evasive fragile speedy thing.

...nice to know that we're starting this battle out annoying the hell out of each other already, Archer.]

[determinator]

[Well, what were you expecting? These battles tend to dissolve into "who can annoy the other person into submission first" so...]

[Okay, this isn't bad; it's possible he'll miss, but Abdiel won't be doing much to Maróczy, assuming she even knows any decent Bug-type moves (do those exist?). Archer nods to the dog and he blasts a Flamethrower attack at Abdiel.]

[explosivecombat]

[Kimblee is very aware that he's only buying time until he can work out something to do here; he's also...somewhat glad that this world has completely arbitrary standards for what constitutes an actual battlefield and the chance isn't high that he'll be set on goddamn fire, because those are a lot of flames and Double Team actually did its job for once.

...and oh, there goes Speed Boost.]

Again, Abdiel.

[...Evasive. Speedy. Thing.]

[determinator]

[...Okay, this isn't going to work. He can keep spamming Flamethrower, but this will ultimately just end in frustration. Fine, then.]

Odor Sleuth.

[Another move he rarely uses! That's probably because most things in the wild aren't this annoying. He can't stop Speed Boost any, but he can hopefully cut down Abdiel's evasion.]