NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[explosivecombat]

No, no, you're going to need to explain this deer thing, that's the second time you've mentioned it.

[doitrockapella]

It started when I was asking you for help with my alchemy. I had the circle drawn, but I couldn't figure out how to activate it, so I wasn't getting anywhere. You turned up and asked me about it, and when I explained the problem I was having, you gave me the explanation I needed to figure it out — complete with a demonstration, where you turned a stone into the shape of a bird with one hand. And blue energy, for the record; I checked.

I asked you, once I thought I'd gotten it, if you'd give me the bird as a reward if I succeeded, and you did. Afterward, I had you make another because I wanted to see it again — this time you made a deer, because you said you used to watch them.

You eventually figured me out, despite my best attempts to keep from revealing that I was already familiar with you, and naturally once you'd learned that, you wanted to hear about what your life was going to be like in the future. I didn't tell you much, but I thought you'd like to hear confirmation that you'd made a difference to someone — at least to me.

And you proceeded to have absolutely no idea what to do about that, so I eventually mentioned in passing that it was all right, I'm used to it and that happens often, and generally when it does you try to smooth things over by giving me something to settle the point so we can all move on quickly from it.

I suppose you ultimately determined that the only thing you had was the deer, and decided to give it a try.

[explosivecombat]

[...oh, fuck his life - ]

You know, I wish I could say that's a bigger surprise than it is.

[doitrockapella]

Like I said: not exactly a master of subtlety.

[explosivecombat]

Well, again, it often depended on what it was I wanted, though I can see where that particular situation would have been a bit odd to navigate in general.

[doitrockapella]

I'd have given you more credit for evidently trying to make me happy, except for the fact that from your perspective, you'd only known me about fifteen minutes, and so the only reason why you might've cared would be because of two external expectations: society's and mine.

...If that sounded cruel, I didn't mean it to be.

[explosivecombat]

I don't find it cruel simply because of how accurate it is.

[doitrockapella]

But it's a little different now, isn't it?

[explosivecombat]

Do you have to ask me?

[doitrockapella]

I don't like to assume your motives.

[explosivecombat]

Well, that sets you ahead of most of the others, who for some reason seem to think it's a smart idea to keep trying.

[doitrockapella]

And I bask in the light of your praise, Teacher, but that doesn't answer the question.

[explosivecombat]

It is, yes.

[doitrockapella]

...I think you must've cared about Major Armstrong, too, didn't you?

[explosivecombat]

I don't know if "cared about" is the right term - either way, why do you ask?

[doitrockapella]

You tried to help him. So he wasn't court-martialed, I think it was?

[explosivecombat]

Ah, that.

I wouldn't say that was done through caring; more through respect for the strength of his convictions.

[doitrockapella]

And concern, for what might happen to him if you didn't...help?

[explosivecombat]

Not particularly.

[doitrockapella]

I don't know if that makes it better or worse.

[explosivecombat]

Go on.

I want to hear what you're thinking.

[doitrockapella]

He was supposed to kill someone, had a crisis of faith, and you did it to cover for him. Something like that?

[explosivecombat]

It wasn't a matter of hesitation or simply being unable to carry out the task he was given; Major Armstrong deliberately acted in a way that would both aid and ensure the escape of those that we were assigned to destroy. It was an act of insubordination so brazen that I couldn't help but respect it; had anyone else seen it, it would have been an immediate court-martial.

However, while the act was a noble one, noble actions aren't often rewarded by this world. As such, I killed the individuals that he had assisted, but out of respect for the conviction it took to assist in the first place, I kept my silence regarding what I had seen.

[doitrockapella]

I don't know if I can reconcile my admiration for your sense of honor and my horror at your actions. I care about what happens — or what might've happened — to Major Armstrong. I'm glad he wasn't court-martialed. But at the expense of those people's lives...

But you'd said your orders were to clear the area. If it hadn't been you, it would've been someone else. It was war, and what happened to those people wasn't anything different than what would've happened to them anyway — what Major Armstrong tried to do would've made them better off than they would've been, but what you did didn't make them any worse.

I don't like that I'm even thinking about it like this in the first place.

[explosivecombat]

You understand what I was showing him far better than he did.