explosivecombat | 042. [Text, and one other thing.]

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I've noticed that when people are asked the question of whether they would change any major events in their past, a prevalent answer seems to be "No, because everything that's happened to me and everything I've chosen to do have made me who I am today." Sometimes I find that position unbearably arrogant; who's to say that the person you could have been – as terrifying though that notion seems to be for most – wouldn't be an improvement on you are now?

Not all changes are for the better, but there's no reason to assume they'll be for the worse, either.

I hold to a general principle of not regretting anything I've done; that hasn't changed, even now. Just the same, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what would have happened if I've chosen to do something different at critical junctures of my life, regardless of how pointless that practice actually is in reality.

The idea of seeking solidarity in such notions is also pointless, but I suppose today is good for indulging in things like that. If I have any questions to pose to the rest of you today – and I admit I didn't start this with that sort of thing in mind for once – I suppose what I want to know is whether you would change anything or not. What it is doesn't matter; I just want to know whether such doubts have crossed your mind before, whether you find it plausible or not.

At the very least those feathers from on high are good for one thing, and that's ensuring that such insipid thoughts aren't keeping me up at night; I've been sleeping surprisingly well since picking one up.

[PRIVATE MESSAGE – ARCHER]

I imagine it would be a good idea for me to let you know that I haven't simply vanished into the aether.

I'm feeling reclusive tonight; do let Isaac know I won't be around.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I find it rather hard to believe that there is anyone who hasn't had the thought of wanting to change some instance in their past in the hopes that perhaps the situation would turn out differently if they did. One would hope that a different path taken or approach used would cause things to turn out more favorably in some way or another.

I think it is foolish to regret ones actions simply because you would not have done what you did if you weren't intending to do so at the time. But one may certainly regret the outcome of that action, no matter the intentions behind it.

But to answer your question, no. I cannot say I would necessarily change anything even if I had the opportunity, because that would require knowing exactly what you would do differently. It is one thing to say you know you would do a certain thing if you could do it all over again, but it is entirely another to be placed in that situation and expect yourself to be able to make the right decision. It is just as likely the change could make you into a different person in a way you never wanted.

Edited (that was one heck of a typo) 2015-04-15 22:56 (UTC)

I stand by what I said, in that I regret nothing about what I've done in the past. Nor do I particularly regret the outcome; I accomplished what it was I set out to do in the first place, and ultimately that's what matters. I suppose my own concerns are more with whether there was a different method or not - perhaps there would have been a way to achieve that outcome via slightly less unfortunate means.

Regardless, I likewise stand by what I said regarding one's future - it's arrogant to assume that the way you are now is the best possible outcome. But then, I've always believed in nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I am sure that any number of circumstances could result in a person being made better for it than they are currently, so I do agree with you there. There are just as many that could make someone worse.

The future is so easily changed by even the smallest instances. You could go through your entire life living the same way you did before and decide to change just one detail, a small change that could easily alter the course of everything following, not just that one event. But it is interesting to think about what could happen if one could do such a thing, I suppose.

The butterfly effect, you mean - the way that minute changes stand to dovetail out into larger unforeseen consequences.

Exactly. It could be interesting to see just how drastically one small change can effect future events.

It would; unfortunately it's impossible to know in most circumstances, unless you happen to find someone from a world similar enough to yours.

As interesting as it may be to speculate about what could have been, I'm not sure if I would ever actually want to see what could have happened.

...now I have a question for you. Out of simple curiosity, is all. I know you say you do not regret your past actions, but let's say you did have the opportunity to see firsthand the various alternate paths you could have chosen throughout your life, as well as the results of the different decisions you would have made.

Do you suppose you might find yourself wishing you had chosen those "better" paths instead?

Perhaps. I won't try to claim that I'm above such thoughts; the fact that we're having this discussion in the first place is likely evidence enough that I'm not.

At the same time, I wouldn't change what I chose to do if given the opportunity to do it all over again, even given advance knowledge of those "better" paths' existence. The final result of my actions wasn't half as clean as I would have liked, but ultimately I succeeded in doing what I set out to do. I can't really complain if I was able to see what amounts to the completion of my life's work through to the end.

I understand. Even though the path you chose could have been the less desirable one, accomplishing your goals is what matters. Some might say that the easier path would be the less interesting one, anyway. Settling for something easy when the more difficult approach likely exposes you to things you may not have been otherwise.

I have a question for you as well, you know.

You asked me if I would find myself wishing that I had chosen another path; is that sort of desire the reason why you wouldn't want to know about any alternate possibilities yourself?

[There's a bit of a pause while Nagi mulls over his response to that.]

Yes. I did say it would be foolish to regret decisions you have already made, that much is true. But I do not think I would be very pleased to see how things could have gone better, had I done things differently.

[...]

And I am not sure if I would want to change anything, even then.
But I would wish that I had.

Of course. This isn't the sort of topic that I'm prone to such thoughts about, but there are a few things that make me think that perhaps I understand the sentiment, at least.

It would be easier to try to avoid thinking about such things entirely, since we are likely as far away from our homes and lives we left behind as we can be, here. But this world lends itself to giving far too much time to think.

042. [Text, and one other thing.]

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