explosivecombat | 042. [Text, and one other thing.]

042. [Text, and one other thing.]

[TEXT]

I've noticed that when people are asked the question of whether they would change any major events in their past, a prevalent answer seems to be "No, because everything that's happened to me and everything I've chosen to do have made me who I am today." Sometimes I find that position unbearably arrogant; who's to say that the person you could have been – as terrifying though that notion seems to be for most – wouldn't be an improvement on you are now?

Not all changes are for the better, but there's no reason to assume they'll be for the worse, either.

I hold to a general principle of not regretting anything I've done; that hasn't changed, even now. Just the same, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what would have happened if I've chosen to do something different at critical junctures of my life, regardless of how pointless that practice actually is in reality.

The idea of seeking solidarity in such notions is also pointless, but I suppose today is good for indulging in things like that. If I have any questions to pose to the rest of you today – and I admit I didn't start this with that sort of thing in mind for once – I suppose what I want to know is whether you would change anything or not. What it is doesn't matter; I just want to know whether such doubts have crossed your mind before, whether you find it plausible or not.

At the very least those feathers from on high are good for one thing, and that's ensuring that such insipid thoughts aren't keeping me up at night; I've been sleeping surprisingly well since picking one up.

[PRIVATE MESSAGE – ARCHER]

I imagine it would be a good idea for me to let you know that I haven't simply vanished into the aether.

I'm feeling reclusive tonight; do let Isaac know I won't be around.

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I'll be sure to do that.

Are you going to be alright?

[He knows why Kimblee wants to be alone, but he figures he'd better check just to be safe.]

I find it rather hard to believe that there is anyone who hasn't had the thought of wanting to change some instance in their past in the hopes that perhaps the situation would turn out differently if they did. One would hope that a different path taken or approach used would cause things to turn out more favorably in some way or another.

I think it is foolish to regret ones actions simply because you would not have done what you did if you weren't intending to do so at the time. But one may certainly regret the outcome of that action, no matter the intentions behind it.

But to answer your question, no. I cannot say I would necessarily change anything even if I had the opportunity, because that would require knowing exactly what you would do differently. It is one thing to say you know you would do a certain thing if you could do it all over again, but it is entirely another to be placed in that situation and expect yourself to be able to make the right decision. It is just as likely the change could make you into a different person in a way you never wanted.

Edited (that was one heck of a typo) 2015-04-15 22:56 (UTC)

i suppose i would change a few things! things did not go as planned in the way i and others wanted to change our city.

though i do think that it would be unfortunate. it would require the termination of someone i've grown somewhat fond of. as much as i can, at least. i'm the sort that you might call 'married to their work'.

Edited 2015-04-15 23:10 (UTC)

I would've taken that island years ago instead of wasting my time with various other schemes.

[Now, he does not regret said schemes at al...okay, he regrets the casino bombing. Definitely that one. But for the most part, he'd still do almost everything all over again, just from his secret (or at least he thinks so) island base.]

Forgive me for asking, but are you okay?

Aren't I always?

[It doesn't exactly answer the question, but it's close enough.]

Of course you are, but that's not answering the question. Are you going to be alright now?

I stand by what I said, in that I regret nothing about what I've done in the past. Nor do I particularly regret the outcome; I accomplished what it was I set out to do in the first place, and ultimately that's what matters. I suppose my own concerns are more with whether there was a different method or not - perhaps there would have been a way to achieve that outcome via slightly less unfortunate means.

Regardless, I likewise stand by what I said regarding one's future - it's arrogant to assume that the way you are now is the best possible outcome. But then, I've always believed in nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Likewise, with regards to work and not allowing my personal life to interfere with it, as unfortunate as the outcome may ultimately be. It's unusual to find someone else who compartmentalizes it like that; apparently it's not something most are willing to do.

[...Bless you, Cobra, for this distraction right now.]

Might I ask what prevented you from doing so before?

I don't mind the question, you know.

As for an answer...not particularly, but I'll be fine; I always am. Today tends to be a little difficult for me sometimes, that's all.

As much as I can be, for the time being.

It shouldn't interfere with anything.

You won't let it, I know that.

Is there anything I can do for you?

[Ah.]

You're going to continue to be concerned until I give you something to do, aren't you?

Am I that obvious about it?

[He's kind of smirking though; it's good you know him that well.]

I'm sure there's something I can do to help.

[Oh, how dare you.]

Just slightly, Archer.

I just have some thoughts to sort through, that's all; that doesn't mean that I mind conversation, though, in the meantime.

Isn't there some really shitty poem about that? And everybody gets it wrong because they think it means something all uplifting or whatever, but the guy's actually saying he had no idea what the fuck he was doing when he picked what to do, he just went with one option and spun it afterward to sound like he made some big philosophical choice about it?

Would you prefer to continue talking over the device?

[Or do you want him to come find you?]

I am sure that any number of circumstances could result in a person being made better for it than they are currently, so I do agree with you there. There are just as many that could make someone worse.

The future is so easily changed by even the smallest instances. You could go through your entire life living the same way you did before and decide to change just one detail, a small change that could easily alter the course of everything following, not just that one event. But it is interesting to think about what could happen if one could do such a thing, I suppose.

[Well, he certainly is distracting. That's for sure. Though he's not really aware of it right now.]

Nothing. I just figured some stupid boat trip wasn't worth my time. How was I supposed to know there was an entire chain of islands there that I'd never even heard of?

people allow feelings to get in the way of what they need to do.

though some might question the methods used, but... well. we did try to figure out other ways of doing things, even if other people think we might not have!

I suppose I'm in a unique predicament in that I don't recall a vast majority of my life. As such, it's difficult to contemplate different outcomes beyond more recent events.

Nonetheless, it's an interesting thought puzzle. For example, my friends and I once got became captives inside the manor of an important military and political figure, the culprit having posed as one of us. It was a complicated affair, complete with a supposed murder and further death threats. But, suspicious as I was, I prodded the so-called corpse until she awoke, revealing her as an assassin and foiling her scheme.

But had I not blown a hole in her ruse, I suspect the outcome would have changed considerably and quite possibly for the worst.

[He's actually not asking for that this time.]

If you wouldn't mind.

Feelings are inconvenient that way. Granted, I've found that they largely can't help it, but I can't really say knowing that makes it seem any more productive; if anything, it's a solid argument against emotional investment in the first place.

But now that you're aware, they've been working out well for you...?

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