042. [Text, and one other thing.]

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT]

I've noticed that when people are asked the question of whether they would change any major events in their past, a prevalent answer seems to be "No, because everything that's happened to me and everything I've chosen to do have made me who I am today." Sometimes I find that position unbearably arrogant; who's to say that the person you could have been – as terrifying though that notion seems to be for most – wouldn't be an improvement on you are now?

Not all changes are for the better, but there's no reason to assume they'll be for the worse, either.

I hold to a general principle of not regretting anything I've done; that hasn't changed, even now. Just the same, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what would have happened if I've chosen to do something different at critical junctures of my life, regardless of how pointless that practice actually is in reality.

The idea of seeking solidarity in such notions is also pointless, but I suppose today is good for indulging in things like that. If I have any questions to pose to the rest of you today – and I admit I didn't start this with that sort of thing in mind for once – I suppose what I want to know is whether you would change anything or not. What it is doesn't matter; I just want to know whether such doubts have crossed your mind before, whether you find it plausible or not.

At the very least those feathers from on high are good for one thing, and that's ensuring that such insipid thoughts aren't keeping me up at night; I've been sleeping surprisingly well since picking one up.


[PRIVATE MESSAGE – ARCHER]

I imagine it would be a good idea for me to let you know that I haven't simply vanished into the aether.

I'm feeling reclusive tonight; do let Isaac know I won't be around.

Comments

[me_first]

people allow feelings to get in the way of what they need to do.

though some might question the methods used, but... well. we did try to figure out other ways of doing things, even if other people think we might not have!

[explosivecombat]

Feelings are inconvenient that way. Granted, I've found that they largely can't help it, but I can't really say knowing that makes it seem any more productive; if anything, it's a solid argument against emotional investment in the first place.

[me_first]

really the only thing i can get involved with emotionally is my work. anything else just seems like it's not worth it.

[explosivecombat]

I wouldn't say I have that much, personally. I enjoy what I do, but I don't know if that constitutes "involvement" so much as it does "nothing else interests me, flat-out."

[me_first]

i've been told that i seem to have very little interest in things outside of my work. i guess that's somewhat true! but my work is very interesting so i don't see why i should. though being here is more difficult for it since i can't do my work here.

[explosivecombat]

And how well is that working? It seems some adapt fairly well to it, while for others it seems as though something fundamental about themselves has been taken away from them.

[me_first]

i can still draw, so there's that part of my work that i can keep doing! but the actual act of creating what i've drawn isn't here which is incredibly frustrating.

[explosivecombat]

Oh, I can imagine. There have been a few here with almost that exact problem that I've seen in my time here. But then, I've been around for three and a half years, so I've seen a good amount.

[me_first]

this world isn't as changeable as mine is though, which may be part of the problem!