Solf J Kimblee (
explosivecombat) wrote2015-04-15 05:09 pm
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Entry tags:
- !ic,
- *text,
- admittedly less than fabulous,
- being you guys is suffering,
- but is everyone mad about genocide,
- god is dead and my tl;dr has killed him,
- good ideas are clearly relative concepts,
- hell are you even,
- i used to be hardcore,
- just thought he'd ask,
- kimblee no,
- like a brick to the face,
- my social skills are flawless,
- my tiny violin tho,
- shut up feelings are hard,
- slacking off like hell,
- surprisingly not plotting anyone's death,
- texting into the void,
- that may have been a bit insensitive,
- that wasn't morbid at all,
- this is gonna suck,
- this is really stupid,
- why we can't have nice things
042. [Text, and one other thing.]
[TEXT]
I've noticed that when people are asked the question of whether they would change any major events in their past, a prevalent answer seems to be "No, because everything that's happened to me and everything I've chosen to do have made me who I am today." Sometimes I find that position unbearably arrogant; who's to say that the person you could have been – as terrifying though that notion seems to be for most – wouldn't be an improvement on you are now?
Not all changes are for the better, but there's no reason to assume they'll be for the worse, either.
I hold to a general principle of not regretting anything I've done; that hasn't changed, even now. Just the same, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what would have happened if I've chosen to do something different at critical junctures of my life, regardless of how pointless that practice actually is in reality.
The idea of seeking solidarity in such notions is also pointless, but I suppose today is good for indulging in things like that. If I have any questions to pose to the rest of you today – and I admit I didn't start this with that sort of thing in mind for once – I suppose what I want to know is whether you would change anything or not. What it is doesn't matter; I just want to know whether such doubts have crossed your mind before, whether you find it plausible or not.
At the very least those feathers from on high are good for one thing, and that's ensuring that such insipid thoughts aren't keeping me up at night; I've been sleeping surprisingly well since picking one up.
[PRIVATE MESSAGE – ARCHER]
I imagine it would be a good idea for me to let you know that I haven't simply vanished into the aether.
I'm feeling reclusive tonight; do let Isaac know I won't be around.
I've noticed that when people are asked the question of whether they would change any major events in their past, a prevalent answer seems to be "No, because everything that's happened to me and everything I've chosen to do have made me who I am today." Sometimes I find that position unbearably arrogant; who's to say that the person you could have been – as terrifying though that notion seems to be for most – wouldn't be an improvement on you are now?
Not all changes are for the better, but there's no reason to assume they'll be for the worse, either.
I hold to a general principle of not regretting anything I've done; that hasn't changed, even now. Just the same, that doesn't mean that sometimes I don't wonder what would have happened if I've chosen to do something different at critical junctures of my life, regardless of how pointless that practice actually is in reality.
The idea of seeking solidarity in such notions is also pointless, but I suppose today is good for indulging in things like that. If I have any questions to pose to the rest of you today – and I admit I didn't start this with that sort of thing in mind for once – I suppose what I want to know is whether you would change anything or not. What it is doesn't matter; I just want to know whether such doubts have crossed your mind before, whether you find it plausible or not.
At the very least those feathers from on high are good for one thing, and that's ensuring that such insipid thoughts aren't keeping me up at night; I've been sleeping surprisingly well since picking one up.
[PRIVATE MESSAGE – ARCHER]
I imagine it would be a good idea for me to let you know that I haven't simply vanished into the aether.
I'm feeling reclusive tonight; do let Isaac know I won't be around.
[VIDEO]
Hello. I apologize for responding with a video, but I'm not very good at texting.
[It's not a lie! It takes him literally forever to find the right letters. Why are they arranged so weirdly??]
The question you've asked is very interesting. I'm still young so I don't have the experience many people have, but I've found that there really isn't a point in spending time regretting things. There's always something else to focus on - whether that's an external threat or something simple. Taking things one step at a time to move beyond it has never seemed difficult to me.
But I understand that my experiences aren't the same as everyone else's. The only thing that's happened in my life that I regret wasn't even my fault. I was raised believing a false religion and once I saw what the real world was like, I left. I do regret the time I spent blind to the truth of the world, but it isn't something I spend a lot of my time dwelling on.
[He's silent for a moment, glancing somewhere off-screen as he tries to gather his thoughts. He had a point but he kind of lost it for a moment there.]
If it's alright, may I ask you a question?
[...wait.]
Ah, you don't need to respond with a video or anything if you don't want to, but I may be a little slow in replying.
[text forever]
I don't believe in regretting things, either. I'll admit the outcome of some of my actions weren't as clean as I would have preferred, but ultimately my life is the result of pursuing what I wanted and as such I got to see through the completion of my life's work. That's enough for me, I think, and certainly not worth complaining about or regretting.
You can ask me anything you like; I won't guarantee that I'll answer, but if it's something that I would prefer not to get into, I'll tell you as much. Does that sound fair?
And I don't mind if you take a while. I'm not particularly busy, nor do I plan on going anywhere anytime soon.
no subject
That's fair. I understand not wanting to share everything.
[...kind of. He's normally pretty open with people.]
I was going to ask if you sent this out because there was something you wanted to talk about. I understand if it's just curiosity, of course, but if you wanted to talk about something specific I don't mind listening.
[Open-ended questions like this seem like the perfect platform for people to show up and discuss their own experiences while completely failing to ask about the poster's. So he figures he can try to help!!]
no subject
Is that why you responded to this, then?
no subject
[...is that weird??]
no subject
Well, I do appreciate the gesture, especially considering that we've never met.
There isn't anything to be concerned about, however. Things were a bit difficult around this time of year back where I'm from, surely, but it all worked out in the end, and I wouldn't change anything that happened.
no subject
I'm glad to hear that it all worked out for you. It must have been something big if it prompted you to post something like this.
[.............]
Ah, not that I'm trying to get you to talk about it or anything! I didn't mean for it to sound like that.
no subject
I was involved in a war back home; it wasn't my first, but the stakes were rather high. Not everything I did to further my cause was ideal.
no subject
[Though he suspects this isn't just "someone on my side actually died instead of the usual slaughtering of all the enemies we do" so uh...]
But everything turned out alright, so at least there's that.
no subject
no subject
[...that's uh... not a joke... he still looks super serious about it.]
no subject
I see... Is it going well for you?
no subject
...We won a very important battle and took control of a giant gunman that serves as a walking fortress and base of operations. Ultimately, it's a very promising victory, but the cost was great. We lost our leader.
[He's trying to make it sound as impersonal as possible; he wasn't as badly effected as some people, but everyone felt that loss.]
no subject
I understand. You have my condolences, then.
no subject
[He almost adds "we can't" but hesitates. There are plenty of reasons why they can't, but ultimately he wants to keep fighting. He wouldn't have learned how to pilot a gunman if he didn't want to help, after all.]
Sorry, I didn't mean to get sidetracked. Thank you though; I'm sure everything will turn out alright.
no subject
no subject
[He actually looks kind of pleased, though the expression is subdued.]
no subject
I'm from one of those worlds that's vastly different from this one, and likewise from most of the worlds that others here came from; it sounds as though you're in a similar situation.
no subject
[...that's not really important though.]
We're currently fighting to reclaim the surface so humans can live there, but there isn't much on the surface for the most part. A lot of it is desert or grassland, but there's not much there otherwise. The gunmen are mobile machines that the beastmen use to kill any humans that they find on the surface, but we've been able to take over and use some of the gunmen against them.
...So it's nothing like this world and I haven't met anyone who's from a world similar to it.