039. [Text]

[explosivecombat]

One of the things I've always found admirable about humanity is their power to initiate change. Not just within themselves, either; that particular power includes the unique ability to instill change in other people – and for some, the world. It's always been rather appalling to me, that so many people would fail to understand how rare a gift that actually is: the actions of a single person have the potential to affect all of human society and leave their mark on the world, affecting and changing the course of the future itself.

It's a good amount of power that most people choose to do nothing with; it's a bit of a shame, really.

But whether we do anything with that power or not, we're all affected by it in some way; after all, the reason it exists at all is because people as individuals are volatile. We can change the world, and so it follows that the act of being in the world can also change us – whether through the actions of others who do choose to utilize that particular power, or just through the inconsistent nature of our surroundings. It follows the law of Equivalent Exchange rather well, I think.

Normally now is when I would suggest some sort of thought experiment to the network at large, probably morbid or inflammatory in nature, but I did promise someone that I would try not to be pointlessly negative for the sake of the holiday. Instead, my interest is elsewhere today – I want to know how this place has changed you. Positively or negatively, it matters very little to me; I'm just curious about what this place has given you, or perhaps what it's taken away.

Be as literal as you like, and as anonymous as you like; as usual with these sorts of things, your name interests me less than your answer.

Comments

[anon text until otherwise stated]

[nvcr]

Well, I'm probably not going to participate in any ritual blood sacrifices to ancient and most likely long-dead gods in the future. Seriously, what was I on?

As the saying goes in my world: "Regret nothing until it is too late. Then regret everything."

But other than regret, intense shame for being so misguided, a desire to go back in time and not do the things I've done, and that vague, empty feeling where all you can say is "oh...oh"...not much, really. Or rather, I feel many things, but none of them are going to resurrect any blood sacrifices. So it's better to just swallow all guilt, accept that I am an imperfect, feeling creature of flesh and bone, and try to strive for a better present.

Dwelling too much on the past just keeps you from moving forward, I think.

[explosivecombat]

If that's truly the case, why bother with regret in the first place? It's as you say - nothing you feel toward the things you've done is going to resurrect any blood sacrifices. Those that have died will be dead regardless of what you've done or felt since then; any regret you may have is more for your own sake, isn't it?

[nvcr]

More than anything else it might be.

I was once told that wanting to help others was its own breed of selfishness as well-to convince ourselves for just a moment that we are not alone, or to ensure our own survival, or whatever. I'm still not sure how true that actually is.

I know that at the core of my own being, I desire--more than anything else--not to be alone, but to assume that my own desires and goals are shared by everyone else is arrogance.

Assuming for the moment that both of us are human: we're blood and earth, not theory and chalk. The bundle of contradictions that exist within my very being are not unnoticed, for to be logical all the time is what some would deem to be perfect.

I often tell people that nothing is perfect--that things can only become perfect once you accept them for what they are--but I seriously doubt that perfection is real.

And as humans we are imperfect, selfish, irrational and altogether unholy creatures, but...oh well.

[explosivecombat]

That's a question that's been posed to me a few times here, actually, though not in so many words - whether I believe that purely logical beings would be seen as my ideal standard of perfection or not. I still don't have a complete answer for that, though I would posit that those deviations from logic are what makes one human in the first place; I suppose the question then becomes whether I believe that humans should strive for that sort of logic-based perfection, and in all blunt honesty I don't see why not.

What you're positing, on the other hand, seems to be that perfection is subjective, if it exists at all. Is that it?

[nvcr]

[Dude, if you saw how little pretty much anything in this dude's world made sense...]

It might be.

Can anything truly be said to exist outside of anyone's perception?

[explosivecombat]

That depends on how strongly one adheres to the concept of solipsism or not, doesn't it.

the fuck am I doing

[nvcr]

I'm not sure just how strongly I do.

I mean, the very thought of a world totally unfiltered through human perception--or well, any kind of perception, really--is kind of impossible to think about. Even if there is a god--which I'm not too sure of, either--they would still possess the ability to perceive and think and thus never truly be free of subjective thought.

And the world keeps surprising me with secret truths that I previously thought to be vile, vile lies. And I'm not sure how to approach these startlingly-revealed truths, but I do think that the universe exists, that it lives and breathes on its own despite our inability to imagine it so.

For instance: angels? Totally real, but like, I spent the last year and a half thinking they weren't. Mountains? I also thought that those were lies and conspiracies, but it turns out they might actually be a thing.

Weird.

But perfection is not a thing that exists outside of us like these are.