037. [Text]

[explosivecombat]

I come seeking discussion again today, which to most of you should probably be nothing new; if anything, I ought to apologize for it, but I suspect that will ring about as true as my usual apologies for the subject matter. For what it's worth, the subject is better than it usually is; take that as you will.

I'd like to discuss dreams today; I'm sure those that were here about a year ago know exactly why, but in the end that is neither here nor there, and you don't have to have experienced it to discuss this with me.

I'm sure we're all no strangers to very vivid dreams...? The sort that immerse you so entirely that they almost seem real...surely there are a few qualities here and there that mark them as dreams, but they're disregarded in favor of whatever is actually happening right in front of you. Dreams like that can hardly be said to be different from reality, can they? They invoke feelings within you; they encourage you to continue thinking about them long after you've awakened. You could even say that dreams like that have given you experiences that you might never have had, were you awake – you've gone on adventures and met people and done things that affected you, all while physically being asleep.

Say that there was a way to live like that forever.

Suppose that there's a machine that will put you under, rendering you solidly asleep and allowing you to experience whatever you want. The machine can simulate any pleasurable experience that you choose, instilling all the thoughts and feelings that would come with actually going out and doing those things for yourself in your waking life. There would be no pain or suffering; it would be an experience in pure bliss for as long as you were plugged into the machine.

Again, you could stay that way forever, if you so chose, living out the rest of your life in dreams, and it would be a pleasant experience that's custom-tailored to you. The only tradeoff is that you would be unconscious the entire time; the experience would be entirely in your mind, rather than anything you actually did.

Would you choose to go under and live the rest of your life happy but effectively comatose, or would you prefer to experience life for yourself, entirely awake, with all the imperfections and strife that may come with it?

You can answer me anonymously if you wish, because as usual, your identity doesn't interest me as much as your response does; if you really want to impress me, you'll tell me why you would answer as you did.

Comments

[doitrockapella]

It's been almost a year since I first saw what your alchemy looks like, hasn't it?

I'm assuming that plays a large part in those dreams.

[explosivecombat]

It has, and it does.

It plays a large part in most of my dreams, actually.

[doitrockapella]

Is it like that for all alchemists? Given that part of using alchemy is a certain measure of imagination, I wonder if it's typical for it also to be connected to dreams that way.

[explosivecombat]

I think it might be, but I don't know if it's for that reason or simply because it's such a fundamental part of who we are.

[doitrockapella]

So would it be an eternal Ishval for you, if you took the option offered by the machine?

[explosivecombat]

[...]

I'm actually not sure. Possibly.

[doitrockapella]

You never did tell me if I got it right, you know.

[explosivecombat]

I will shortly; I won't refuse to give you a straight answer forever.

Tell me one thing, however - you said that I'm out to enhance my own life, more than I am out to ruin others' lives. What do you think it is about the things I do that enhances my life?

[doitrockapella]

The things you do let you see how others respond. Wanting to see how people think, wanting to see...I suppose in the case of the war, wanting to see who proves their right to survive, isn't it?

...So if that's the case, then having it all in your head wouldn't mean anything. It's a farce because there's no one else in it but yourself.

[explosivecombat]

Exactly.

As I've made plain to you many times before, I enjoy my work. But there's no point to my work if I can't stake anything on it, and there's no beauty in what I do if I can't put my soul on the line every time I do it.

So to answer your question - I wouldn't consent to it, no.

[doitrockapella]

You're not offended that I'd considered you might go the other way, are you?

[explosivecombat]

Well, you provided a valid reason for why you might think that, after all.

[doitrockapella]

I know how you like me to show my work.

...You know, if things hold true to form, we're due to have another three-day blackout next month.

[explosivecombat]

So we are.

Hoping for anything in particular?

[doitrockapella]

...Come to think of it, I've never really told you about my intellectual rivals back home, have I? I suppose in a way I could also call them my successors. I don't...usually talk about them, the way I bring up some of my others.

Unlikely as it is, I wouldn't mind seeing both or either of them again. It's been two and a half years since I last gave them the slip.

Speaking of other people making the work worthwhile, that is.

[explosivecombat]

I imagine there were several reasons why you didn't talk about them like you did the others, given that we were on different terms when you told me about the others in the first place.

But perhaps this place will be decent this time around; if nothing else, maybe I'll get to see your alchemy for myself.

[doitrockapella]

They're the namesakes of Kant and his sister. I suppose that says something about me, that I named my first three Pokemon after the three people who've been trying to arrest me for years now.

Maybe this time, instead of jumping off of the building, we can try leaping to the top of one, instead.

[explosivecombat]

And if the one you've been seeing during those three-day periods shows up, will you take him up there with you?

[doitrockapella]

Would that be all right with you?

[explosivecombat]

Why wouldn't it be?

[doitrockapella]

You brought it up; I would assume you'd have some reason for it.

Besides, it only seems polite to ask, considering that particular visitor.

[explosivecombat]

I suspect he depresses you, in some ways.

[doitrockapella]

He usually notices that, too. Once, he asked why I looked so sad.

I think what tends to upset me most is never knowing whether I should tell him or not, what he's in for someday. He'll say sometimes that it wouldn't bother him to know and if it'd make me feel better then I should go ahead, but...I never know which is worse, the thought of making him live with knowing — even if it's only for a few days — or keeping it secret from him while he knows full well that I have one.

[explosivecombat]

How much would you tell him?

[doitrockapella]

I honestly don't know. I'm a little concerned that it'd depend on how much he decided he wanted to know, and how persistent he was in trying to find out.

Even if I tried to keep it to a bare minimum, how would it sound? He's always so eager about his assignment, and I already know how it's going to end for him.