03x. [Action - Fourth Wall Event]

[explosivecombat]

[A. Olivine City, outdoors.]

[Well, while usually at this point in the festivities the hills would be alive with the sound of shit gratuitously blowing up, it seems that Kimblee has found something else with which to occupy his time.

An...obnoxious, mulleted, poorly-dressed something.

The guy admittedly looks a fair amount like him in the face, except the eyes are decidedly wrong and he looks younger by a good amount; he's wearing a really poorly-fitting Amestrian military uniform, and judging by the way he that generally appears to give so few fucks that it ought to be criminal he doesn't seem too wigged out by suddenly being somewhere he's not supposed to be.

It seems he's done this before.

Of course, Kimblee himself has standing orders to kill this guy should the opportunity arise, and he fully plans on acting on those as soon as he's done doing...whatever it is they're doing outside of this café on this lovely Thursday afternoon; granted, he doesn't seem like he's in too much of a hurry to do it right now, especially since they have exactly one knife between the two of them and the moron with the mullet currently has possession of it. Kimblee currently has his left hand splayed out on the table, watching whatever this other guy is doing with it; he looks like he's stabbing something over and over again.

Upon closer inspection, it seems that knife is darting in and out from between Kimblee's fingers; it seems that they have an obscenely fast two-player version of the Knife Game going, and Kimblee seems way too fascinated by a game including the prospect of this guy possibly missing and stabbing him in the hand, and when the guy he's with finishes off the round he simply passes the knife across the table and sets his own left hand down, splaying his fingers out to let Kimblee have a go.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we don't allow weapons in Route. Idiots bond over them.]


[B. Just about anywhere.]

[...of course, that isn't going to last long, and for the rest of the weekend the hills are going to be alive with the sound of shit gratuitously blowing up. But hey, this time they're blowing up to the general tune of science.

It seems Kimblee has found a few errant shards of crystal; upon discovering that they do...well, a lot of nothing to actually power his alchemy up (because you never know), he's doing the next logical thing and infusing them with energy just to see what's going to happen.

The crystals absorb that odd blue energy from his hand easily enough; it's what happens next that's a bit alarming - at a distance it looks like they just sit there for a while, but at a bit closer range it's obvious that that energy is just bouncing around inside the gem, becoming more and more volatile the longer it's allowed to do so, and beyond a certain point...well, it's hard to say because Kimblee promptly throws it with great force, and as soon as it's gone it explodes in all its magnificent crystal-shrapnel glory.

...He's got a couple of small cuts on his face from when he threw one of those shards straight up; needless to say, he's not doing that anymore, though he doesn't seem to mind the blood. We throw outwards, not up, clearly.]




[OOC: The idiot in question in scenario A is Kimblee's 2003 counterpart, who's sort of a hot mess; if you want to yell at one of them in particular, specify which and the mulleted wonder will be replying from alchemicals.

Otherwise, the second scenario can be literally wherever you want him - happy fourth-wall, everyone!]

Comments

A AND I REGRET NOTHING

[bravehoratio]

Ah, s-sir...

[Or is it...sirs? Um. Major...s? GENTLEMEN...superior officers...sirs...]

People...they're staring, sir, is that...really the best thing to do out here in the middle of town like this?

OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T

[explosivecombat]

[...Well. Hello there. Kimblee will actually pause with that knife in his hand for this, because what in the world.]

...Well, well. It's been quite some time, hasn't it.

[I mean with his luck it's only been like ten minutes for you, but.]

REPORTING FOR DUTY TO HELP YOU NAVIGATE BASIC SOCIAL INTERACTIONS, SIR

[bravehoratio]

[What was that about his luck again?]

Some time, sir? I...suppose it's been a little while now, yes...

[Sir he legit just saw you like five minutes ago IS SOMETHING WRONG]

I'M SO SORRY

[alchemicals]

[Well, if you don't mind, Kimbley would really prefer that you have your crisis over Johto being a timey-wimey ball of shit later, is everyone cool with this or]

So are you going to join us properly? I get that you're taking time out of your busy schedule to help us and all, but it's rude as hell for you to just hover around. Sit down.

OH WHAT DO YOU THINK

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer can't really say why he's in Olivine, but it's obviously one of those weekends, so he might as well enjoy the city, right? With his luck he'll be whisked away somewhere else before the weekend is over - somewhere like the Seafoam Islands or something - and he'd really rather avoid that, so.

Besides, he has to keep an eye out for a certain someone sporting a hideous mullet.

He has no plans on going to the café, but he is walking by when he notices a pair of very familiar alchemists. It's about then that the oh shit feeling begins to sink in: he never told Kimblee not to murder Kimbley if he saw him.

(That, of course, had been a decision Archer had made at some point but had never bothered to inform Kimblee of, simply because he felt it wasn't important at the moment and then promptly forgot about it. Either his memory is slipping or this place has done something horrible to him. He's betting on the latter.)

Archer approaches the two of them only to finally notice the knife. The sudden shock should be apparent to Kimbley, since Archer is approaching from behind Kimblee, and never once does it occur to Archer that his initial reaction might not be the best one given the game the two alchemists are playing.]

What are you doing!?

[Yes, because yelling at them while they're playing a high-speed knife-stabbing game is definitely a good idea.]

[alchemicals]

[WELL HI THERE, ARCHER. To Kimblee's credit, he doesn't jump half a mile at the sound of his superior being very mad indeed and he just kind of keeps up with the stabbing; to Kimbley's, he doesn't flinch, though he does look away from what's going on with the knife there because that's a smart idea. Just trust the white-suited bastard to not stab you in the hand the second you're not paying attention. Or, you know, the face, whichever.]

What's it look like? Just having some fun, that's all.

[He gestures vaguely in Kimblee's direction with his right hand.]

I met your friend, obviously.

[sadisticwarfare]

How is that fun? Someone's going to get stabbed!

[...Actually, that's probably why they find it fun...]

Put that down, Kimblee!

[dixiechick]

[Someday, she might wonder why it seems as though there are always explosions heralding her arrival to this place, but to do that she'd have to have the security of a place and time where there aren't explosions going off all around her, so it's certainly not going to be now.

She remembers being here, vaguely; she remembers there were explosions then, too. But these ones come with the unusual skittering of shrapnel scattering when they explode, and so she finds herself hiding behind an outcropping of sorts again — this time not so much from the man or the sound, but simply out of self-preservation because he's unknowingly throwing those close enough to her that ducking under cover is really becoming necessary at times.

What she ends up doing, probably, is stupid. But she's never been the best at plans (she almost always gets caught at them, after all), and it's the only one she has, but she's scared and there's blood on his face and the only way that adds up is that whatever these things are he's throwing, she really needs to get him to stop.

So she waits until one of those charged shards leaves his hand — that's when she'll have the most time, she thinks, between the one he's just thrown and the next one being primed — and seizes that chance to dart out from behind her rock and run at him. It occurs to her along the way how stupid it is, really, because that means there'll be an explosion going off at her back when she's not under cover to hide from it, but she's committed now and there's nothing to do but keep running at him and follow through with her admittedly shabby plan of just outright trying to tackle him to the ground, because if nothing else then at least he'll stop throwing those things.

And so she goes.]

[explosivecombat]

[He's paying more attention to the shard than his surroundings, but that doesn't mean he's completely unaware of what's happening, nor does he really miss the woman in grey suddenly rushing toward him; he doesn't have much time to really think about why Locke is dressed so strangely or where he's seen it before (though he knows for a fact that he has) before there's an explosion and she seems like she's going to tackle him, and of all course of actions she could have taken that's really very stupid and not something he would associate with Locke of all people -

...and that's about when it clicks in, that he's seen the grey and this particular brand of stupid in the same general area before and it was during one of these weird weekends, and he's just going to take this opportunity to jerk back and out of the way and pray that he can dex for shit today when he tries to grab her, both to stop her in general and keep her from faceplanting on the ground.

Because somehow he thinks she'd cry or something, and he is not in the mood to try to fix that today.]

[dixiechick]

[In the end, he manages about half of it successfully: she doesn't react fast enough to correct for her trajectory when he gets right the hell out of the way, but she does notice that he's done it quickly enough to try to correct for it, which obviously leads to a big awkward semi-flailing mess what with him trying to grab her and her trying to...well, do anything productive, really, and then there is an explosion and she shrieks and, well.

The good news is, she doesn't faceplant, though she does end up in a vaguely sitting position on the ground with her legs a little awkwardly tangled and one arm practically vertical, owing to the fact that he's got hold of it and that was where she pivoted somehow along the way and in the end, he did in fact grab her, she just...made a mess of it, as usual.

...And as a credit to her apparent burst of willpower, she's not crying. Yet, anyway. If anything, she just looks sort of dazed, probably more from the fall than the explosion.]

B

[zero_charisma]

[Kimblee may or may not notice, but for a few seconds there had been a blue lazer dot on his chest and his hands, before the dot flickers out. The explosions were difficult to remain oblivious to and eventually someone was going to come investigate. That someone just happened to be Sniper.

It's not any of Sniper's business, but when a man's throwing shiny rocks around and ripping the place up, the least he can do is offer an explanation for doing so. The man in white doesn't look like he's attacking anyone but just in case Sniper has his rifle out rather than holstered, finger on the trigger and ready to snap into position if needed. He's sure to maintain some distance from Kimblee because that's just how he works best (communication and shooting-wise), but his voice is calm and casual when he speaks up.]

G'day to ya mate. What's goin' on here?

[explosivecombat]

[Oh, he noticed, simply because ruining snipers' days is something he's astoundingly good at. Just the same, he's not feeling threatened at the moment, either, though his gaze is rather alert after he's addressed.]

Nothing that's going to be aimed at you, I assure you.

[zero_charisma]

That'd put a damper on things, yeah.

[His eyes trail from Kimblee's face to his hands, eyes narrowing slightly at the blue energy before he meets Kimblee's gaze again, his voice still calm.]

So yer blowin' up stuff fer no reason?

B

[shest]

[Someone blowing shit up certainly attracts Ocelot's attention.

He'd clap, but he's missing his right hand, and the stump is covered in bandages at the moment. Whatever's going on has seen fit to bring him back to this place forty years later and he can't exactly complain when he's watching a man blow things up in front of him.]

You've got a useful ability. I've never seen anything like it before.

[And he still talks like a smug asshole, but at least he actually has the experience to back it up even though he's a bit outclassed at the moment.]

[explosivecombat]

[You know, there is an absolutely classless remark in there somewhere about how this is an opportunity to actually hear the sound of one hand clapping, but thankfully the one asshole present to make it is having his ego stroked so he will refrain.]

Well, I should hope not; it's my own design, so it's rather unique even where I came from originally.

[shest]

[Possibly a good thing given the circumstances. He's lost a bit too much blood to be much of a threat right now, but just in case.]

[He smiles tightly.]

Is it now? How did you come up with the design?

I've come across a number of explosives in various situations-- I have some amount of experience with them myself.

A... icon for mental state

[heartofmetal]

[This must be the things that he was warned about. Teleporting from place to place and everything being so messed up. Ed's kinda fed up with this already.

As he's teleported for the 4th time, he let's out his frustration with a long phrase of curse words and other insult towards whatever has made this happen... and then calms down to look around.


... ...


Why is he meeting Kimblee out of all people? Actually a better question. Why is he meeting TWO Kimblee's - other one doesn't look so classy - at the same time?!

Oh. Oh wait. Was the other guy Kimbley? The one Greed talked about? Ah, so that's it!



.... this isn't the time to be thinking about something like that. Oh gosh, if only he had his alchemy at least!]

[explosivecombat]

[It's probably fortunate that Kimbley can't move if he doesn't want to risk having his hand filleted, especially given that as classy as Kimblee likes to pretend to be, he's not going to stop with the stabbing simply because he managed to draw a little blood; at the same time, he does bristle, and there's a sharp sound that leaves him, and that does get Kimblee's attention long enough to make him pause for the briefest of moments and glance over before returning to what he was doing.

Let's not have a confrontation today, shall we? They're horribly inconvenient and he would really rather not.]

So you have returned to us properly, have you? I saw you over the network a short while ago.

[heartofmetal]

[Oh... they're doing something. That definitely doesn't look safe.

He doesn't relax though, even if there isn't any immediate danger. He can be calm when he wants to be, really and he's not going to be the one to start a fight when he has no means to defend himself.]

Yeah. Though I have no recollection of being here before.

I heard about you being here, but that other guy... is you from the other Amestris, isn't it?

B

[deadpanned]

[A short distance away, as he does, a dark-eyed boy in clean dark jeans and a light spring jacket watches the mayhem (and subsequent shrapnel) unfold, and after about a few minutes of observation he takes the opportunity during one of the lulls to remark calmly: ]

Stand down, Colonel Archer.

[explosivecombat]

[It takes him a moment to place the voice, but thankfully his memory has yet to properly fail him any in this place; he recognizes the boy immediately, and he certainly doesn't seem displeased to see him.]

Commodore Miller. I was wondering when we'd see you again around here.

[deadpanned]

In the words of a fellow officer of similar rank: "I have returned."

[And he is, of course, as pleased as ever to be remembered. How fortunate, those moments when his reputation precedes him. ...In a given sense of the word.]

I relieve you of the necessity to salute. My time is short and valuable.

A because being Isaac is suffering

[glaciates]

[Olivine City is a much nicer city than Goldenrod, in Isaac's opinion. This might have something to do with the fact that it's a smaller city, or maybe it's the fact that it's a port town. Or maybe it's both. Regardless, Isaac has spent some time exploring the city before finally trekking back through town to get a hotel room for the evening. He'll figure out where Kimblee is once that's done and then figure out whether he's making the journey back to Goldenrod or if he's going to wait here for his boyfriend. Because clearly they can't be separated.

He happens across the two Kimblee/eys accidentally, and at first he nearly walks by because he doesn't recognize the mulleted one. It's the repeated sound of the knife tip slamming into the table that draws his attention, and within moments Isaac is transfixed, watching the game and looking somewhere between really disturbed and way too invested. One would think this is because his boyfriend is involved (though it's not like Kimblee's hand is on the table), but no, it's because this looks really fun.

...No one ever said Isaac was sane.]

That's an interesting way to play.

[Why didn't anyone ever tell him this game was two-player compatible???

Isaac finally glances up at the participants and stares. One is very obviously his boyfriend, but the other...]

Uh... Kimblee? Who's your friend?

[explosivecombat]

[That just gets a soft, noncommittal noise from Kimblee as he keeps focusing on the game; his reflexes have never been terribly great and he would prefer not to completely fillet the moron's hand just because he got mildly distracted.

Once he's got his bearings, however, he speaks calmly, and thankfully he manages to do it before his...companion over there can make some inane comment about climbing you.]

He's not my friend; he's Archer's.

[glaciates]

[Isaac remains silent for a moment, but it doesn't take him long to figure out who this guy is. Archer has talked about him quite a bit, after all. Though Isaac doesn't ever remember Archer mentioning the mullet.]

Kimbley?

[...Wait, hang on.]

Uh, with an "ey" at the end? That's who you are, right?