03x. [Action - Fourth Wall Event]

[explosivecombat]

[A. Olivine City, outdoors.]

[Well, while usually at this point in the festivities the hills would be alive with the sound of shit gratuitously blowing up, it seems that Kimblee has found something else with which to occupy his time.

An...obnoxious, mulleted, poorly-dressed something.

The guy admittedly looks a fair amount like him in the face, except the eyes are decidedly wrong and he looks younger by a good amount; he's wearing a really poorly-fitting Amestrian military uniform, and judging by the way he that generally appears to give so few fucks that it ought to be criminal he doesn't seem too wigged out by suddenly being somewhere he's not supposed to be.

It seems he's done this before.

Of course, Kimblee himself has standing orders to kill this guy should the opportunity arise, and he fully plans on acting on those as soon as he's done doing...whatever it is they're doing outside of this café on this lovely Thursday afternoon; granted, he doesn't seem like he's in too much of a hurry to do it right now, especially since they have exactly one knife between the two of them and the moron with the mullet currently has possession of it. Kimblee currently has his left hand splayed out on the table, watching whatever this other guy is doing with it; he looks like he's stabbing something over and over again.

Upon closer inspection, it seems that knife is darting in and out from between Kimblee's fingers; it seems that they have an obscenely fast two-player version of the Knife Game going, and Kimblee seems way too fascinated by a game including the prospect of this guy possibly missing and stabbing him in the hand, and when the guy he's with finishes off the round he simply passes the knife across the table and sets his own left hand down, splaying his fingers out to let Kimblee have a go.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why we don't allow weapons in Route. Idiots bond over them.]


[B. Just about anywhere.]

[...of course, that isn't going to last long, and for the rest of the weekend the hills are going to be alive with the sound of shit gratuitously blowing up. But hey, this time they're blowing up to the general tune of science.

It seems Kimblee has found a few errant shards of crystal; upon discovering that they do...well, a lot of nothing to actually power his alchemy up (because you never know), he's doing the next logical thing and infusing them with energy just to see what's going to happen.

The crystals absorb that odd blue energy from his hand easily enough; it's what happens next that's a bit alarming - at a distance it looks like they just sit there for a while, but at a bit closer range it's obvious that that energy is just bouncing around inside the gem, becoming more and more volatile the longer it's allowed to do so, and beyond a certain point...well, it's hard to say because Kimblee promptly throws it with great force, and as soon as it's gone it explodes in all its magnificent crystal-shrapnel glory.

...He's got a couple of small cuts on his face from when he threw one of those shards straight up; needless to say, he's not doing that anymore, though he doesn't seem to mind the blood. We throw outwards, not up, clearly.]




[OOC: The idiot in question in scenario A is Kimblee's 2003 counterpart, who's sort of a hot mess; if you want to yell at one of them in particular, specify which and the mulleted wonder will be replying from alchemicals.

Otherwise, the second scenario can be literally wherever you want him - happy fourth-wall, everyone!]

Comments

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer leads Kimbley to the hotel and gets a room without any issues. He shuts the door behind them and leans back against it, arms folded. His posture is mimicking Kimblee's usual stance, but he's not aware of that.]

I take it you remember what happened the last time you were here.

[That's as good a place to start as any, he figures.]

[alchemicals]

[Kimbley doesn't seem to mind whatever Archer's doing with his stance, though something twinges unpleasantly at the back of his mind at the fact that he's blocking the door; he just allows himself to flop down backwards to sit on the bed, propping himself up with his hands and trying to look as casual as possible about the whole thing.]

With the automail, yeah. It's a bit hard to forget.

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer doesn't flinch at the mention of the automail, but his grip tightens a bit where his arms are folded.]

That's what I thought.

[...]

I wasn't pleased with how things went.

[To understate it horribly.]

I didn't appreciate the fact that you considered blowing me up.

[Oh look at that, did he just say what's bothering him instead of waiting for you to figure it out??? What has the world come to??]

[alchemicals]

[Wow, look at you! Being all socially competent and shit. He's almost proud.

...That said, uh.]

It's not like I did it. If I'd really wanted to, you know I wouldn't have stopped at "considering" - I would have just gone ahead with it. It's not like I ask permission.

[sadisticwarfare]

[Don't mock him!!]

I know how you operate, yes. That said, you still considered killing me. That bothers me; I can't understand why you would ever consider killing me, regardless of what condition I'm in.

[alchemicals]

...Are you actually surprised by this? You?

[sadisticwarfare]

You expected me not to be? You're one of the few people I would consider a friend and you just--!

[He can kind of understand what Kimbley means; obviously he was willing to betray Greed, so killing Archer isn't exactly a stretch, but. It's Archer. He's a special snowflake, why don't you understand this, Kimbley.]

[alchemicals]

[Something dark flashes behind his eyes; his gaze darts toward the door again before he refocuses on Archer's face.]

So why don't you tell me about those orders that you gave the other one. The ones you're glad he didn't act on right away.

[sadisticwarfare]

That's none of your concern.

[Though from the sound of it, Kimbley's already pieced it together.]

[alchemicals]

Really? And here I thought you brought me here to discuss that with me.

[He sits up a bit more on that bed; he's smirking again, but it's not a nice expression.]

So is that what we're doing now? I upset you, so you want me dead?

[sadisticwarfare]

That's--!

[Yep, Kimbley's figured him out. Archer seethes for a moment before finally finding words.]

I ordered that six months ago. I was furious and confused at the time; I didn't know how to deal with everything that had happened.

[He hesitates for a moment before glancing away and forcing himself to continue.]

...It was wrong of me to ever issue an order like that.

[alchemicals]

Please. If you want me dead, you want me dead. I don't need your reasons or anything - you're not the first, and you're not going to be the last.

[He sounds...entirely too okay with this for his own good, really.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer stiffens at that. Something about it is striking him as wrong, but he's not entirely sure what it is.]

Don't talk like that. I don't want you dead. I did at first because I...

[...because he was scared. Because he was scared and confused and hurt and didn't know how to deal with it. But he can't say any of that, so he simply trails off and switches topics.]

Regardless, I don't want you dead now.

[alchemicals]

So what do you want?

[This tends to be the question they keep coming back to, doesn't it.]

[sadisticwarfare]

I would like an apology and a promise to never consider killing me again.

[Archer sounds defeated though, as though he knows that what he's asking is too much.]

[alchemicals]

[That just gets a laugh out of him, brief and harsh.]

Or you'll...what? Set your battle butler on me again?

[sadisticwarfare]

No. I'll never give him orders like that again.

[He frowns. There is no "or what" and he knows it.]

[alchemicals]

So I could threaten to kill you right here, right now, and you would do nothing about it?

[At least judging by tone, he's not exactly considering, and as he said he never asks for permission before up and killing someone; just the same, that certainly is a question.]

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer stiffens and studies Kimbley's expression carefully, trying to figure out if he's actually serious. He doesn't seem to be, but he's not entirely sure. Either he's not as good at reading Kimbley as he thought he was, or Kimbley's being purposefully vague about it. Still, despite the initial hesitation, the answer comes easily.]

That's correct. I wouldn't do anything to you.

[alchemicals]

[He laughs again; good lord, Archer.]

This place is making you soft as hell.

[sadisticwarfare]

[Archer doesn't exactly look pleased at that, but he can't deny it either.]

You try being here for three years.

[alchemicals]

You still want that?

[sadisticwarfare]

[There's no hesitance in Archer's words. If anything, he's more sincere and less hesitant about the answer than normal.]

Yes, of course. It's something I will continue to work towards no matter what.

[...Probably because he'd have no idea what to do with himself otherwise.]

[alchemicals]

Why? If you don't mind and all.

[He is apparently not going to let you get away with anything today; sorry, man.]

[sadisticwarfare]

You're important to me. Regardless of what happened, you're still my best friend.