02X - Reintro. [Text/Locked Audio to the Rocket Frequency]

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT]

[Well! Those of you on the network today will be greeted by a bit of audio late this morning, from a device ID that's been bouncing back all attempts at contact for the last several weeks.]

...Oh, that's cute.

[...well, if that wasn't the most triumphant return ever, I don't know what is.

At the very least, however, he seems to get over whatever he's almost audibly linefacing at long enough to realize that the device is recording something; he promptly switches the thing over to text - he's never really liked talking at the machine when he's addressing all of Johto.]

My, it seems this place does still have its sense of humor, doesn't it? And here I thought that perhaps I'd only lost three days at worst - it was a bit of a surprise to find out otherwise.

Ah, but that's neither here nor there, is it?

[Kimblee, hon.]

There's not much to report from home, unfortunately; however, it'll be a pleasure getting in contact with all of you again - hopefully you've all been at least reasonably well.

[Oh, well. At least he doesn't seem too off-put by the whole disappearing-for-a-month-and-a-half thing?]


[PRIVATE AUDIO - TEAM ROCKET FREQUENCY]

[...At least, not until the audio message that goes out over the private Rocket network a few minutes later; Kimblee's voice is cold and clipped, and the amiable "tone" from the text earlier is completely absent.

He has no idea if he still holds his rank or not; he suspects he doesn't. Like hell if he won't throw it around anyway. He's a bit displeased at his life basically being a .gif from Community, and he's going to figure out what in the good hell is going on if it kills him.]

This is Team Rocket Beta Solf J Kimblee, reporting back in for duty; to my superiors, I admit that I don't know what happened, but I assure you that it won't happen again.

To the rest of you - check in with me immediately, particularly if you're one of my subordinates. I'm receiving a lot of "ID Not Found" nonsense, and I need to know who's still present; given that and various things that I've had to hear about secondhand, I expect a full report regarding what happened here from someone, I'm not feeling particularly choosy right now.

New members to the organization - welcome to it, and you have my personal apologies for the disarray. For now, you're welcome to introduce yourselves; it'll serve you well to know that I'm good to those who are good to me. Again, prove yourself useful and you'll be rewarded.

None of this is a request. Allow me to make that much clear.

[...oh dear. Well. At least he's not in much position to actually do anything at the moment - this is Team Rocket we're talking about, and if somebody's on the network very vocally overstating their importance and/or competence, that means it's pretty much a day ending in Y.]

Comments

[diamondo]

[You have got to be kidding. No one complains about his language! ...Except Ishimaru sometimes, but even he knows it's pointless!

...Still, he can at least try to be polite. This is only going to last for about a minute tops, but hey, he'll try!]

Back home I'm a gang leader; I've done my fair share of wrecking shi-- stuff and stealing and all that. I'm a pretty damn-- I mean uh, I'm a pretty god fighter too. And obviously I'm a leader; I united the gangs scattered about under my banner, sometimes through fucking-- err, diplomacy, and sometimes through fighting.

[GOD THIS IS HARD he didn't realize he cussed so much!!]

Your turn. What would you have me do?

[explosivecombat]

You united gangs by -

[Mondo that was a really unfortunately placed correction jsyk]

...never mind, what you've told me is enough. What sort of gangs were these, exactly?

[diamondo]

[Err, yeah he... didn't really think about that...]

Motorcycle gangs!

[He sounds way too proud of himself...]

Oh, but there's one thing I'm not doing. I ain't gonna kill anyone.

[explosivecombat]

[...goodness, just tell him how you really feel.]

Well, to my knowledge this organization doesn't specialize in flat-out murder, and I think I would be aware by now if it did. Though now you have me curious - why would you bring that up? It's a bit specific, given that I don't recall killing being part of the discussion in the first place, and you're clearly not a pacifist.

[diamondo]

I...

[Oh wow, he didn't think about that either...]

W-well, I figured that it might be something that would come up at some point. I mean, you would've expected me to do something like that, right? That's the kind of image gang leaders give off. But I'm not that kinda guy.

[explosivecombat]

...A matter of personal values, I'm assuming?

[diamondo]

Yeah, that's right. I don't mind hurting people, but killing's outta the question.

[explosivecombat]

[Huh.]

I knew someone like you once, I think. Someone under contract with the military, even - he blatantly refused to kill people. When questioned about whether it was because he didn't have the strength to watch others die, he simply replied that he had the strength not to kill them. There was always another way, as far as he was concerned...although that didn't mean he wasn't willing to beat up anyone he needed to, mind you.

It's an interesting stance. Not one I understand, per se, but an interesting stance.

[diamondo]

Ah, yeah, that's what it is! There's no fucking-- err, sorry; there's no need to kill anyone. Problems can be solved in other ways.

[But a person in the military thinking like that? That's even more ridiculous than a gang leader!]

[explosivecombat]

[Mondo, what about this isn't ridiculous? This whole situation is stupid. This organization's goal is literally

1. See Pokémon
2. Steal Pokémon
3. ???
4. Profit!

and Kimbleee is trying to make it sound as competent and legitimately menacing as possible by being the world's most annoying pep rally leader. GO TEAM FAILURES, LET HIM MOTIVATE YOU screw his life, mondo, he didn't sign up for this

so believe me it's not much different back home]

Mm. Well, that stance nearly got him killed one day, by someone who didn't share the same ideals. So I would suggest being careful about that.

[diamondo]

Yeah, yeah, don't be reckless, got it.

[Like he doesn't hear it enough from Ishimaru?]

I'll be careful about it, obviously.

[explosivecombat]

I don't recall saying not to be reckless - I'm an improviser myself, so charging into reckless situations is more or less what I do. It scares my superior officer half to death, of course, but it's how I operate. So don't worry, I don't plan on making a hypocrite of myself by insisting that recklessness has no merit.

Just be sure you know your opponent, that's all.

[diamondo]

Know your opponent, huh? Yeah, I suppose that would be a better way to go about it. I mean, I obviously did some research on this when I was uniting gangs and all that shi-- stuff. But it's not my strong suit, y'know?

[explosivecombat]

Really.

[Never would have guessed.]

So tell me some things about this...gang of yours. Outside of the motorcycles, I mean. I have to admit that I'm curious.

[diamondo]

Well, what do you wanna know? I'm not sure what to tell you.

[explosivecombat]

[...you are...really not the sharpest tool in the shed here, are you buddy.]

...Well. Start with what you tended to...do. I mean, I doubt it was entirely motorcycles - did you actually do anything?

[diamondo]

You make it sound like we had some kinda purpose! Well, I guess we did; we were basically a massive family for outcasts or kids from broken homes.

[Totally playing it off like it's not important!]

Most of what we did was vandalism, when we weren't fighting for territory with other gangs, but that was before I became the leader. Like I said, I united the gangs so there weren't any turf wars after that. We just got in trouble with the cops a lot and sometimes fought with them. Landed a few of us in jail, but hey, that's how you learn to avoid getting caught!

[explosivecombat]

[...you...they...what

okay aside from the general question of "WHY"...]

How...old are you, exactly?

[diamondo]

Seventeen! Why?

[explosivecombat]

I'm...sorry?

[SHITTING HIM. YOU ARE DOING IT.]

[diamondo]

What, didn't you hear? I'm seventeen. Why do you wanna know?

[explosivecombat]

That's quite an impressive accomplishment for a teenager, for one thing - for another, you sound much older over the device.

[diamondo]

Ah, yeah? I get that a lot, actually... The uh, sounding older part. I mean, not that my accomplishments aren't impressive - I got into Hope's Peak due to 'em!

[A pause. Right, this guy probably doesn't know anything about Hope's Peak since Naegi said people don't...]

Hope's Peak's an elite high school where only the best of the best are accepted for their talents and accomplishments. I'm the Super High-School Level Gang Leader!

[explosivecombat]

[...Super...High School...Level...

snrk

Okay, he is going to try not to sound too amused at this and he's likely going to fail but oh god he's trying so hard over here]

Well, that...certainly does sound interesting...

[c'mon Kimblee you can do this just a couple more sentences]

Is that your official title, at that school of yours?

[you sound like you take it so seriously tho]

[diamondo]

Yeah, it is! What's so weird about that?

[Hey, why are you so amused by his title anyway??]