[TEXT]

[Well! Those of you on the network today will be greeted by a bit of audio late this morning, from a device ID that's been bouncing back all attempts at contact for the last several weeks.]

...Oh, that's cute.

[...well, if that wasn't the most triumphant return ever, I don't know what is.

At the very least, however, he seems to get over whatever he's almost audibly linefacing at long enough to realize that the device is recording something; he promptly switches the thing over to text - he's never really liked talking at the machine when he's addressing all of Johto.]

My, it seems this place does still have its sense of humor, doesn't it? And here I thought that perhaps I'd only lost three days at worst - it was a bit of a surprise to find out otherwise.

Ah, but that's neither here nor there, is it?

[Kimblee, hon.]

There's not much to report from home, unfortunately; however, it'll be a pleasure getting in contact with all of you again - hopefully you've all been at least reasonably well.

[Oh, well. At least he doesn't seem too off-put by the whole disappearing-for-a-month-and-a-half thing?]


[PRIVATE AUDIO - TEAM ROCKET FREQUENCY]

[...At least, not until the audio message that goes out over the private Rocket network a few minutes later; Kimblee's voice is cold and clipped, and the amiable "tone" from the text earlier is completely absent.

He has no idea if he still holds his rank or not; he suspects he doesn't. Like hell if he won't throw it around anyway. He's a bit displeased at his life basically being a .gif from Community, and he's going to figure out what in the good hell is going on if it kills him.]

This is Team Rocket Beta Solf J Kimblee, reporting back in for duty; to my superiors, I admit that I don't know what happened, but I assure you that it won't happen again.

To the rest of you - check in with me immediately, particularly if you're one of my subordinates. I'm receiving a lot of "ID Not Found" nonsense, and I need to know who's still present; given that and various things that I've had to hear about secondhand, I expect a full report regarding what happened here from someone, I'm not feeling particularly choosy right now.

New members to the organization - welcome to it, and you have my personal apologies for the disarray. For now, you're welcome to introduce yourselves; it'll serve you well to know that I'm good to those who are good to me. Again, prove yourself useful and you'll be rewarded.

None of this is a request. Allow me to make that much clear.

[...oh dear. Well. At least he's not in much position to actually do anything at the moment - this is Team Rocket we're talking about, and if somebody's on the network very vocally overstating their importance and/or competence, that means it's pretty much a day ending in Y.]

[There had been some definite toying around on this particular connection today, the screen flickering off and on as the PGC's functions were flipped from video to voice to text and back - anyone with a reasonably quick eye may have caught glimpses of amber eyes and long black hair, and perhaps sharp features holding an expression that seemed more amused than anything else. However, Kimblee has never really been interested in wasting too much time with playthings; the PGC hasn't been completely abandoned, as there are occasional sounds that indicate that someone is still in the area - footsteps once in a while, followed by odd scratching sounds and the like - but Kimblee himself is nowhere to be seen.

...probably because he's left the thing on in Voice mode before wandering away from it. The technology is a bit beyond him, and apparently he hasn't quite figured out how to turn it off.]

...try this again, shall we?

[Either Kimblee is muttering to himself or his conversational partner is exceedingly boring, as there's no response; either way, there's a bit of odd rustling, like fabric being shifted a bit, before a sharp snap - someone clapping their hands together, perhaps.

A brief pause. Another clapping sound.

Sigh.]

No...no, of course not.

[A few moments pass before there's a bit of a clatter - clearly he's decided the PGC is worth another shot, as he's back to fiddling with it, humming lightly to himself as the screen suddenly flickers to life.

Good afternoon! This would be Kimblee. And just barely visible on the ledge behind him would be several circles etched into it, with various designs scrawled into them.

For those who are familiar with transmutation circles, it seems he's been making an...attempt at alchemy. A very, uh, persistent attempt. Given that the clapping implies he was just trying to blow the thing up, apparently he just really doesn't like that ledge.]

Well, it seems that even with four functioning limbs you can't vault over them properly, and the chimera I've been given is useless in terms of destroying them. Either these ledges are defying all logic, or there's some other force at work. Dare I ask?

[Because as polite as his tone is...no, really, those ledges are just unfair.]