NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[doitrockapella]

Do you have time tonight, by any chance?

[explosivecombat]

Things are somewhat chaotic with the Legion, but I should have time, assuming I'm not called back inside anytime soon.

Something on your mind?

[doitrockapella]

I don't mean to interrupt. I know you've been busy lately.

[explosivecombat]

You aren't interrupting anything, for the moment.

I'm keeping an eye on things, but I can manage both at once.

[doitrockapella]

...There's something I need to ask you, and I doubt I'll like the answer, but it's something I need to ask nevertheless.

Are you in a charitable enough mood to humor me that much?

[explosivecombat]

I'm assuming it's something you need a direct, honest answer to, as opposed to our usual?

[doitrockapella]

Yes. I'd appreciate it.

I've been thinking all day about Major Armstrong, and what happened in Ishval. The people he tried to help. How what he'd done could've made them better off...but in the end, it didn't make them any worse off, because it was war.

What I called to ask is...

Существует ничего, что я could have said that would've stopped you, это правда?

[explosivecombat]

There isn't, no.

[doitrockapella]

That's what I thought.

[explosivecombat]

Tell me what you're thinking, Locke.

[doitrockapella]

I'm trying to keep the world in perspective. See things from more than just the vantage point of what I think should happen.

I'm upset but it's...

I can't...fix it. I couldn't have helped it. Convincing myself otherwise would just make me spoiled and naive again. But that doesn't make it any easier to swallow.

[explosivecombat]

There's a difference in being self-centered and thinking that you could have fixed everything, and being upset that you couldn't. The feeling is normal. Irrational, of course, but normal.

You just can't allow the feeling to consume your thoughts.

[doitrockapella]

What's mostly been consuming my thoughts is the notion that I'm not cut out for war.

[explosivecombat]

Most aren't. That's why they leave the task of going to war to those who are.

[doitrockapella]

And if it turns out I can't separate my personal and professional lives as well as you?

[explosivecombat]

Decide which is more important to you.

[doitrockapella]

That's not what I meant.

Are you going to find me intolerable, if I can't draw those bright lines as well as you can?

[explosivecombat]

I think a better question is whether you'll find me to be intolerable, because I can.

[doitrockapella]

I want to be angry with you. I want to make demands that amount to insisting that you change, just because I want you to.

Since I can't do either, the least I can do is refuse to look away from who you are and what you do. It's better than pretending you're something you're not, just because I want you to be.

[explosivecombat]

...Locke. If you want to yell at me, if you want to be angry, far be it from me to tell you that you can't. I'm not going to stop you, nor am I going to be offended, because I'm entirely aware of what I am.

I've found that problems arise when someone decides they can't discuss things like this.

[doitrockapella]

I don't understand. I thought you loathed it when you were subjected to talk like that.

1/2

[explosivecombat]

How are you not subjecting me to it already? You're telling me "I'm feeling all these things that I can't talk to you about, but I'm going to bring them up repeatedly, along with insisting that I can't talk about them." Isn't being asked about it what you wanted in the first place? We're already discussing it; if you're going to talk to me about it, then at least have the basic decency to do it properly.

[explosivecombat]

[...damn it.]

That was unfair.

That was entirely unfair and uncalled for, and you have my apologies for it. It's been...difficult, lately, and I'm on-edge.

I would prefer to have this discussed properly than sprung on me later. Things like this tend to build and the consequences just get more and more unpleasant the longer it's allowed to continue.

[doitrockapella]

[Ouch. Right in the—

...

Wait.

...

What?]

Do you want to tell me what's been difficult, or would it be better if we stayed with trying to resolve this bit of things first?

[explosivecombat]

We should resolve this first; I want to ensure it happens.