NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[doitrockapella]

You know I'm going to ask you to elaborate.

[explosivecombat]

You probably know more about me than he does, at this point.

[doitrockapella]

Is that because I'm privileged with the information, or just because he never thinks to ask?

[explosivecombat]

If he doesn't think to ask, he doesn't deserve the information.

[doitrockapella]

Then I'm not really any more special than he is. I just know how to meet your expectations a little better.

[explosivecombat]

If that's how you choose to see it.

[doitrockapella]

No. I want to know how you see it.

[explosivecombat]

Is that really what you want, or do you want me to tell you that you mean more to me than he does?

[doitrockapella]

When I want you to lie to me, I ask for it.

[explosivecombat]

Well, since you want me to be honest, I've never really thought about things in terms of who means more to me.

[doitrockapella]

Don't I always want you to be honest? Excepting the times I request otherwise, of course.

Either way, it doesn't matter that much. I'm just making conversation.

[explosivecombat]

And if I want you to lie to me, I'll ask for it.

[doitrockapella]

I'm not lying about making conversation.

[explosivecombat]

...Surely you don't think I'll leave that one alone.

What is it you want to know, exactly?

[doitrockapella]

What it's going to take to let me stop thinking of pink elephants.

[explosivecombat]

You'll come to realize eventually that I don't drop subjects unless they've been resolved.

[doitrockapella]

What is there to resolve, really?

[explosivecombat]

You seemed to want clarification on why I say it's not a competition.

I think the simplest way to word it is that whatever relationship I have with you is far less complicated; I don't mean that it's less nuanced or less complex overall, because that's certainly not the case, but it's natural in a way that my relationship with him is not. As such, I seek you out for different things; we discuss different things entirely, and I can be open with you in ways that I can't with him.

He doesn't ask me about my personal life because he is, first and foremost, my superior officer, and that tends to color all of our interactions in one way or another, whether he intends it to or not. Does that make sense?

[doitrockapella]

It does make sense. But I also notice that's a purely objective assessment of the circumstances, which isn't altogether unexpected, but it's still a notable way of addressing a question about feelings.

[explosivecombat]

And what would you have me say? Ideally speaking.

[doitrockapella]

I'm trying to figure something out about you, and you're making it difficult, as usual.

...

It's not hard to spot the ways he's left his impression on the things you do. It's much rarer and harder to see if I'm ever doing the same. And that's one of the ways you measure importance, isn't it? The mark you leave behind?

[explosivecombat]

I'm not intentionally making it difficult, you know; I'm just not certain what you want.

I don't know what to tell you with regards to this; for what it's worth, he seems to have similar problems telling what he's accomplishing and what he isn't - he often says that I don't seem to take in anything he says, and it often gets incredibly stupid, conversation-wise, until we work out between us exactly what isn't being communicated.

[doitrockapella]

If I could say for certain what I wanted, I'd tell you and make the whole thing that much simpler.

Maybe it's just that I haven't quite shaken a tendency to look for orthodox staples in what's otherwise an incredibly unorthodox relationship.

[explosivecombat]

That might be the case, yes.

Either way, however, you have left your mark, whether you find it obvious or not.

[doitrockapella]

Not that I don't trust your word, but it'd be nice to see it more frequently than I do, rather than resigning myself to being assured that it's there.