016. [Anonymous Text + Images]

[explosivecombat]

[And tonight, with no fanfare, a text hits the network. Completely anonymous, as always; those who have done their homework would recognize the 'Gear number as the one ascribed to the device that's been showing off several other attacks that have been broadcast to the network.]

Good evening, Johto.

The last few times we've spoken have been a bit unbalanced, wouldn't you agree?

[Ah, there are the pictures. Still images from the attack on the square in front of the Goldenrod Department Store, along with a few other images - the attack on the Kimono Girls and against a few random civilians, the Goldenrod Pokémon Center being destroyed. Little unpleasantries like that. Scroll past them and the text will pick back up, don't worry.]

You've told me so much about yourselves, during those attacks. I've gotten to know several of you quite well, actually.

For the time being, I would like to even the playing field a little. It will keep things interesting, I think.

From the time that you contact me onward, you have an hour to ask me anything you like. I can't guarantee you'll like or be satisfied with the answers, but it'll be better than nothing, I imagine; anything is up for discussion, short of my current location.

And don't worry - I'll introduce myself, just to spare you some time.

[There's one more image after the text ends; it's the sort of picture that usually closes out these transmissions to the network - a shot of the Rocket agent in question from the chest down to about the waist. The room behind him is dark, though it appears to be a meeting room of some sort, if you squint; the Rocket insignia emblazoned across his shirt is clearly visible above his hands, which are obscured by the pale gloves that come with the uniform. Instead of the usual Pokéballs clasped in his hands, however, there's a white card with a few words written on it in thick, blocky writing, as though someone had written the letters and gone over them repeatedly, rendering them unidentifiable through handwriting alone. The words are highly visible, standing out against the stark, glaring white of the card in the flash of the camera:

MY NAME IS SETH.

PLEASED TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.]

Comments

[Anonymous Text forever] holy shit I am laughing so hard

[explosivecombat]

[LETO TAKE THE WHEEL

OH MY GOD LET HIM TRY TO FIND SOME WAY TO TURN THE VOLUME DOWN BECAUSE OW, SIR

HE WORKS AROUND EXPLOSIONS AND HE FINDS YOU LOUD

LOOK AT WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU]

Believe me, I'm well aware, and I'm familiar with both assault and domestic terrorism charges. I've never heard of this "Federal Bureau of Investigation," however - is this something I should be aware of?

[AUDIO FOREVER]

[canthearyou]

YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION? THE FBI?

[Is this for real?]

IT'S A LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY THAT WORKS HAND IN HAND WITH THE LOCAL PDS TO PUT PEOPLE LIKE YOU BEHIND BARS.

[And has no jurisdiction here since he's not even in the right world, let alone the right country, but still!]

[explosivecombat]

[Law enforcement working with the local...P...Ds - oh, you're a cop, all right.

...not sure if new here or a slow learner...]

In which case, I'm sincerely hoping that either you've just arrived or you're a native of Johto that's finally speaking out against us; in the case of the former, you'll find you don't have much authority here.

[canthearyou]

I AM NEW. JUST GOT HERE THE OTHER DAY IN FACT.

[And as a result most of New Bark Town probably needs their hearing checked now.]

AND JURISDICTION MIGHT NOT BE A PROBLEM. I'VE ALREADY GOT SOME AGENTS HERE, AND I'M SURE SOMETHING CAN BE WORKED OUT. IN CASES LIKE THESE, I'VE FOUND THAT EVEN THE MOST UNCOOPERATIVE POLICE DEPARTMENTS CAN WORK TOGETHER TO PUT A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL LIKE YOU AWAY FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

[He hasn't met the Johto police yet though.]

[explosivecombat]

And I'm more than certain whatever agents you may have can hear you discussing this with me at the moment. Is there a reason you're shouting at me? I can hear just fine.

...well, I could hear just fine. I'm not sure how much damage you've done in that regard.

[canthearyou]

IF THEY CAN HEAR ME, THAT'S GOOD. I'D LIKE YOUR ACTIVITIES TO BE BROUGHT TO THEIR ATTENTION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. AS TO WHY I'M YELLING, I AM SURPRISED TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS HERE. FROM WHAT I WAS TOLD, THE WORST PROBLEM PEOPLE HAD TO DEAL WITH WAS WILD ANIMAL ATTACKS, NOT DOMESTIC TERRORISM.

[Also, because he yells at everyone and rarely uses a regular speaking voice.]

[explosivecombat]

[...good lord, he's gotten himself a winner, hasn't he...]

Well, it seems that whomever is giving you your information was greatly mistaken, weren't they.

I've been at this for almost six months. I have yet to be caught. Are you planning on actually providing a challenge for me?

[canthearyou]

SIX MONTHS?

[Okay, hang on, Cooper's been here for six months and this guy hasn't been caught yet. What's going on here?]

AM I READING THAT RIGHT?

[explosivecombat]

I believe you are, in fact, reading it right.

Six months.

[canthearyou]

THAT'S DISAPPOINTING. I HAVEN'T HEARD GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE LOCAL POLICE BUT LETTING A DANGEROUS CRIMINAL DO AS HE PLEASES FOR SIX MONTHS IS COMPLETELY APPALLING.

I AM GOING TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER SIX MONTHS TO RUN AROUND AND COMMIT CRIMES LIKE THIS.

[explosivecombat]

I look forward to seeing your attempt.

Might I have a name, to go with this threat of yours?

[canthearyou]

I DON'T THINK SO.

I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL THOUGH. WHEN YOU'RE IN CUSTODY, I'LL BE SURE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

[explosivecombat]

Fair enough, as it is your choice - though I find it interesting that you would give me your occupation and not your name, as where I'm from, the board of investigations tends to be a bit more covert about that.

[...unless we're talking about Hughes, in which case you just head the investigations department and yet flash pictures of your family everywhere, you crazy diamond.]

Speaking of what it is you do, however, I do have something to ask you. It isn't personal - just about this investigations bureau of yours, in your world, where it hardly matters here. For the sake of understanding, you see. Do you mind if I ask?

[canthearyou]

I'VE SEEN WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE LIKE YOU GET AN AGENT'S PERSONAL INFORMATION.

[That's all he's going to say about that.]

WHAT'S YOUR QUESTION? I MIGHT BE WILLING TO ANSWER IT DEPENDING ON WHAT IT IS.

[explosivecombat]

Are you connected to the military, or are you a separate branch of operations? I don't know how your government works - whether it's militaristic or some sort of monarchy or something else entirely; the most I can work out from what you've said is that it isn't anarchist.

I don't particularly care about your personal life; I just want to know if I'm looking at soldiers, privately employed civilians or something else.

[canthearyou]

THE FBI ISN'T A MILITARY ORGANIZATION, AND CONSISTS OF CIVILIANS WORKING UNDER THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE. THINK OF IT AS A POLICE DEPARTMENT THAT'S JURISDICTION INCLUDES THE ENTIRE COUNTRY.

IT'S A BIT MORE COMPLICATED IN REALITY, BUT THAT'S THE SIMPLEST WAY OF EXPLAINING IT.

[explosivecombat]

[...that is the last time he asks you for anything that might involve a lengthy explanation, ow goddamn his hearing...]

Interesting. Where I'm from, we have something similar to what it is you do, I believe, but they certainly don't have civilians working for them.

[canthearyou]

[Could be worse Kimblee. This could have been a face to face conversation.]

IS THAT SO? WHERE I'M FROM, THE MILITARY ALSO HAS ITS OWN LAW ENFORCEMENT BRANCHES, BUT THOSE ARE PART OF THE DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE, NOT THE DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT AREAS.

[explosivecombat]

[Yeah, uh. Kimblee's voice is also very, very soft. And kind of high-pitched. The sort of thing where he couldn't yell and have it carry if he tried.

...also what are you even talking about, bro]

But don't the people who defend the country have the right to decide what's considered just within it? Dividing it like that makes no sense.

[canthearyou]

IT ACTUALLY WORKS QUITE WELL FOR THE MOST PART. SOMETIMES THERE'S CONFLICTS, BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S A PRETTY GOOD SYSTEM. LOCAL PDS HANDLE YOUR TYPICAL EVERY DAY CRIME, THE FBI HANDLES PEOPLE LIKE YOU, AMONG OTHER THINGS, AND THE MILITARY DEPARTMENTS HANDLE CRIMES INVOLVING MILITARY PROPERTY AND PERSONNEL.

[He's generalizing to keep things simple. Gordon doesn't think Kimblee needs to know about additional branches of law enforcement like the U.S. Marshalls or the ATF, DEA, etc.]

THERE'S OCCASIONALLY CONFLICTS OVER JURISDICTION, BUT FOR THE MOST PART, WHEN DEALING WITH CRIMINALS LIKE YOU, EVERYONE'S WILLING TO WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE SURE THAT THAT CRIMINAL IS PUT SOMEWHERE WHERE THEY CAN'T DO THAT AGAIN.

[explosivecombat]

[...THAT IS TRULY THE COOLEST STORY

HOWEVER]

If I may, why are you still yelling? If you've dealt with nearly as many "people like me" as you seem to be claiming - and correct me if I'm wrong - then surely you shouldn't still be completely incredulous at the knowledge that I exist.

I can hear you just fine without the screaming.

[canthearyou]

DIDN'T KNOW I WAS STILL YELLING. IS THIS BETTER?

[He's not being malicious about it, even though he's talking to a criminal. He's just really loud. Almost all the time.]

[explosivecombat]

[And even though said criminal can't be seen, he still manages to refrain from facepalming at that. Progress!]

Hard-of-hearing, by any chance?

[canthearyou]

YES. HAVE BEEN FOR ABOUT TWENTY YEARS NOW.

HOW DID YOU KNOW?

[explosivecombat]

Consider it a lucky guess.