032. [Text]

[explosivecombat]

[...and it seems it's time for another round of Horribly Inappropriate Questions, with your host: This Asshole.]

You know, a while ago I posited to the network that this world is based around battle culture – admittedly a softer, watered-down version of it, but battle culture nonetheless. One's power is assumed based on the strength of their personal army; one's social status is determined by how many gym leaders they've managed to defeat, or how easily they can crush those who stand in the way of what they want. It's interesting to me that such a society should likewise be based around a message of love, peace and tolerance; one would think that for the sheer amount of destruction that everyone's carrying around within arm's distance, this place would have dissolved into anarchy long ago.

Equally interesting is the stance on war that most seem to have taken here; even the locals seem opposed to it, overall. I have to wonder why – what it is about this place in particular that makes the idea of war and conflict so abhorrent to all within it.

Ah, but it's entirely likely that it's a matter of points of view, isn't it? I'm from a militaristic society, personally, so war and conflict seem to be the natural state of things – are most nations generally pacifistic like this? Or is this abnormal even by your standards as one of the..."foreigners", I believe they like to call us?

I'm interested in answers, though I can take or leave identities; answer anonymously if you wish, but even if you don't, you know what they say about glass houses.

[...You know, there are some things that never change. Yes, Kimblee, everyone here probably does get mad about genocide; either way, happy birthday, you crazy son of a bitch. If this is how you're going to spend this evening, you are more than welcome to do so.]

Comments

[ossifragant]

My facts might be a bit off but I believe it's still called Amestris.

[text - locked/private from here on]

[explosivecombat]

Greed, I'm assuming.

It's a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.

[ossifragant]

The pleasure's all mine.

And you would be?

[explosivecombat]

Answer something for me, first.

Have you spoken to Envy yet?

[ossifragant]

I have.

[explosivecombat]

Does he remember things happening the same way you do?

[Because we have had some weird as hell misunderstandings involving the Homunculi before.]

[ossifragant]

He does.

That answers the questions I had, if we're different for you.

[explosivecombat]

You are, and I've had enough experiences here to know that you don't know me - or if you do know me in some capacity, the person you're thinking of is different enough that it doesn't matter

So it's a bit of a moot point, really.

[ossifragant]

The fact remains that I'd like a name.

We've exchanged plenty of pleasantries already. This isn't about to get heated.

[explosivecombat]

[Well. Archer's given him vague details about the Devil's Nest fiasco, and he's also told him about the different spelling name-wise. So this is surely going to be fun, isn't it - let's see how this goes, and whether you remember anything about that entire clusterfuck or not.]

Tell me if the name "Zolf J Kimbley" means anything to you, and we'll see whether it's about to get heated or not.

[ossifragant]

[And there's a very long pause before he replies again.]

So that "Solf" the girl said wasn't me mishearing.

I'll kill the bastard if I ever see him again, but you're not him.

[Goddamn it universe. There was a perfectly reasonable, intelligent Kimbley out there and he had to get the one who's as dumb as a box of hammers. It fucking figures.]

[explosivecombat]

...Trust me, from what I've heard of him I'm grateful that I'm not.

[so can we talk shit about him now, or]

[ossifragant]

[Yes, yes we can.]

Some deity out there is playing some fantastic prank on you because the one I know is a stupid bastard who can barely spell his own name, let alone wax philosophy.

[Someone's bitter.]

[explosivecombat]

I've heard about the mortifying stupidity, as well as the remarkable tendency to bite the hand that feeds.

Speaking of, your dislike sounds rather personal.

[ossifragant]

It is. Let's leave it at that.

[Mostly because the wheels are turning in his head and he's not sure if he likes where he thinks this is headed.]

I'll be honest, I think the only reason he's still alive is that he was in prison for a decade. He has the survival instincts of a dead fish and is likely to hurt himself if he isn't under constant supervision.

How he came to be in the military in the first place I don't know. Seems like an obvious bad move to me.

[explosivecombat]

He escaped somehow, from what I remember. If he were going to do that in the first place, I don't see why he waited for ten years.

I was released after seven, personally.

[ossifragant]

Well, I could explain that one because I was the one who stopped him from getting a bullet in his head.

There was a laboratory connected to Second. You know, the doesn't officially exist kind. The other homunculi had a half-finished Stone in the basement and needed more material.

So they used the prisoners. Who even knows why Pride kept him alive in the first place, but that doesn't really matter. He blasted his way out of the holding cell because it was entirely made of red water.

By the time I arrived on scene it was about to be him versus a lot of well armed soldiers. I don't care how good his alchemy is because odds like that are suicide.

So we took care of the soldiers and he left with me.

[explosivecombat]

And like the untrained animal he is, he bit you as soon as something he liked better came around.

In the version of Amestris I know, the Fuhrer is Wrath, not Pride; Pride is someone else entirely, one of those I mentioned working closely with before. Envy is the other, though ultimately most of my orders came from Wrath. He kept me off of death row because I was useful; I wasn't aware of this...business with the prisoners being used to create Stones until I came here, but it answered a fair amount of questions - I was often asked by the guards what I did to keep myself off from being executed, and I never really had an answer, though I had a rather good time answering them anyway with whatever I could think of, just to see how much they were willing to believe.

I was granted a pardon eventually - not an exoneration, unfortunately, so rejoining the military properly was out of the question, but in a way that worked out in my favor given the lack of red tape that would have to be cut through before I could do anything as a proper soldier. I've been serving the Homunculi since then.

[...well, as long as you don't count the last, like...two minutes his soul was still conscious - but what's 120 seconds between acquaintances, anyway.]

[ossifragant]

It's a shame, really. He and I have quite a bit in common. I offered him freedom and he still went wandering back to the old master who threw him out.

I'd be more offended but the pointy bastard he ran off with will only get bit harder the moment he tries to control him. I know how the military works; I wouldn't be surprised if he's Kimbley's next victim.

Now that's, interesting, see. Our worlds are close but not quite the same. Wrath is a child in mine. A very special child, mind, but he's still a kid.

Are you aware of the leader, then? Because it certainly sounds like a completely different person than the one I know. As I said, the one would never work with humans.

[explosivecombat]

[...Ohhhh god, we are discussing pointy military bastards who knew this other version of himself. Most signs point to Archer; let's abandon this topic while we still can with our dignity intact.

...fortunately, a question has been posed.]

I'm rather aware of the leader, yes. I knew him personally, though I didn't speak to him often; he was an interesting one, really, I learned a fair amount from him.

[ossifragant]

[He's not quite done with that line of questions yet. Unfortunately a certain someone had been probably a little too forthcoming with information, but fortunately Greed is easily distracted about certain things.]

"He" you say.

And that's evidence there on how different our versions of Amestris are. I'm going to hazard a guess that Envy never told you much about our version.

I could tell you, if you'd like. But first I have one question. Does your version of the country have that story about the country that fell in a single night where Central now stands?

[explosivecombat]

Where Central now stands...? Now there's an interesting variation if I've heard one.

We have the story, and I'm aware of what caused the country's demise in my world, but from the sound of it the reasons are likely entirely different.

Envy hasn't told me much, but then, I haven't exactly asked; he's seemed curious about the version I came from, and I've been willing to provide him with information because it really matters very little here.

[ossifragant]

It's true, it doesn't matter. Especially with our worlds being so vastly different despite the similarities.

It happened 400 years ago, I believe. A century or so before I was born, though it could possibly have been longer, there was a great civilization. I couldn't tell you the name and honestly it hardly matters.

What matters is that two people were experimenting in secret there-- a man and a woman. Whatever they were after was important enough to start sacrificing the lives of hundreds of people and then later thousands but it still wasn't enough. What they were after would take outright genocide to be successful.

It was the first time the two of them created the Philosopher's Stone, but it wouldn't be the last. The city was shoved underground and left to become a mere afterthought. A legend, even, because how can an entire country vanish in a single night? Such a thing should be impossible.

The man went on to become infamous in his own right, if only because of the eventual feud with the woman.

And the woman? Well. She fancied herself rather important and went on to create a host of servants for herself.

[explosivecombat]

[...WOW.]

You know, this is the first time in a very, very long time that I've been reduced to saying that there really aren't any words.

Well, outside of maybe asserting that I have yet to hear about even one good decision that's come out of whatever version of Amestris you came from.

[ossifragant]

[And this is the censored version. He doesn't trust Kimblee enough to give the uncensored one.]

That's because there probably hasn't ever been, really. We're talking about a place where a city-state outright vanishing isn't met with horrified panicking but instead falls into "legend" in a matter of centuries.

Of course, there's a significant plothole in my story. Human lifespans do not last for hundreds of years.

I told you before she keeps young women around her and she certainly doesn't do that for their alchemy.

I'm going to hope for the sake of this story that certain things still apply. A soul has a tendency to reject a form that is unlike its body. Of course, in the version of Amestris I know, things like this are rather easy to bypass if you know how.

[Let's see if you follow that train of thought because yeah.]