explosivecombat | 028. [Text]

[Well. The previous night's sleep was absolutely hideous, for reasons that Kimblee really doesn't want to discuss, especially not with the network as a whole; however, the lack of contact with people is possibly the last thing he wants.

So. Polling the audience time again. Let's do this thing.]

While I know that this world has a tendency to pull some strange sorts of mayhem when it comes to bringing people here, have any of the rest of you found people from a different version of the world you came from? I'm not talking about different points on the timeline - though if any of you have experienced anything particularly strange on that front, I'm interested in hearing about that as well. What I'm referring to are instances of the world being identical up to a point, and the subsequent differences led to the timeline of your world and the timeline of this alternate version being entirely different.

From what I understand, this can lead to things such as another version of you living out an alternate version of your life; an example of what things might have been, if you made different choices. I know that it's a popular theory, philosophically, but have any of you received irrefutable evidence that that's the case in whatever reality you came from?

Because I have.

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That sounds like a bit of a personal problem, doesn't it?

I'm fairly sure there are enough physical differences for it to be a moot point anyway; from what I'm told, he looks much younger than I do, among other things.

[He hasn't even been told about that ungodly mullet, but still.]

It's all hypothetical, since the whole thing's bullshit, but you're the one who brought it up, so think it through.

If there's one, there could be more, right? Say there's one who looks exactly like you.

[Blake has stopped pacing.]

Say he did something real stupid, and now you're getting the blame. What're you supposed to do about that?

Mm. You say that I brought it up, and you say that such things are nothing more than the ramblings of the deranged - but you're the one being insufferably paranoid. I've mentioned the one circumstance that I know to exist; you're the one throwing complications into it.

Is there something in your life that you wouldn't want to have to answer for, if you'd made a different choice somewhere along the line? Or are you concerned about another lifetime in which someone might have to answer for something you've done?

It's a what-if kinda situation, right? It's not paranoid to think out how fucked up it could get.

[That hits way too close to home. Blake's jaw tightens up and his thumbs jab fast.]

None of your damn business.

Point is, is this other guy you or not?

Not really, no. It's a specific situation that's already happened, as I've been telling you from the beginning; are you done trying to assert yourself?

[Blake sighs heavily. Fuck, but he's tired. His sleep was bad enough without dreaming about being locked up in a little cell, looking out a barred window to watch Emily and her Gallade walking off towards something dark and sharp grabbing for them, something they couldn't see, and no matter how much he yelled they didn't hear.]

[Weren't you supposed to forget this shit when you woke up?]

Yeah. I'm done.

[He knows what's true. That's what matters. Right?]

[After a minute, he adds]

So whatever happened to your evil twin?

He died. From what I understand, he was killed in battle.

Huh. How bout that. So there's just a dead one of you, floating out there somewhere. You really believe it?

There was a lady before talking about this crap. Alternate universes. Something out of a goddamn comic book.

Whether I believe it or not isn't really important, I think; it's an interesting thing to consider, anyway.

And according to you there are probably a lot of dead versions of me out there, right?

Interesting. That's one fucking word for it. Enough shit goes wrong in reality. What's the point of thinking up new worlds where it's worse?

Whaddya mean, according to me? But yeah, if there's a million of these damn things, there must be plenty where you end up dead. Human bomb squad must be a job with a lot of turnover.

Well, you brought up the possibility that there could be multiple; I was really just referring to the one. But it's something of a moot point, I suppose.

There's a philosophical theory out there that claims that all things are possible, if the circumstances align just right - every possible outcome and iteration of the world and our fates is simultaneously happening, this just happens to be the one that we're experiencing. So theoretically speaking, there are plenty of realities in which you were never born, but then, there's at least one reality in which you're God.

I'll let you decide whether that's good or terrifying for your creations, whatever they may be.

[Blake's brows furrow. It takes him a minute to work through that. He's not your real philosophical sort.]

[He eventually winnows out the important part. In a way, going full-out with the crazy makes it more comfortable. It mutes the horrible suspicion that any of it could be true.]

The there's a couple where I'm the devil, right?

Oh, definitely.

But if I recall correctly, you don't believe in such things to begin with, do you? God, I mean. Or is it just that Jesus fellow that you aren't fond of?

Then I guess that one crazy I ran into was just real ahead of the game.

Nope, none of it. Whatever name you give it, it's still shit people make up to make themselves feel better.

[Even if his ma would smack him upside the head for saying that.]

[He puts the phone down, but something about the idea won't leave him alone today. He picks it up again.]

So say there's these billions of worlds with billions of yous. If it's all different next door, what does anything they do matter?

[He doesn't mind, really; it's keeping him distracted from what won't leave him alone today, after all.]

Do you want the cynical answer, the idealistic answer, or the answer I happen to believe?

The one you think. That's the point of asking.

I think that in the overall scheme of things, it doesn't matter, but in the overall scheme of things very little we do matters anyway - multiple worlds or not, as individuals there's not much we can do to alter the course of fate and the direction the world is going in. As such, we should just try to have all the impact we can with regards to our own circumstances, and not let ourselves stagnate or squander our potential.

When one is dead, they lose any ability they may have had to impact the world in any meaningful way; why should we let the question of "What's the point?" deter us while we're living?

[When it comes, Blake's reply is eloquent.]

Shit.

That's a lot saner than I was expecting.

[He thinks over it more, and finds something alarming.]

I might actually fucking agree with you on something. Never thought I'd see the day.

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