explosivecombat | 023. [Anonymous Text + Images/Video]

023. [Anonymous Text + Images/Video]

[An anonymous text will be going out to the network today; the ID is consistent with the one that usually sends out things along these lines from Seth.

Surprisingly (and lbr, probably refreshingly), there aren't any images of Seth's "work" prefacing the text; it simply gets to the point.]

It's been a year since we first met. As predicted, I'm still doing just fine. Those who stated I would be caught before the year mark have officially failed in their task.

But as I've said before, I like to level the playing field a bit once in a while. It keeps things interesting for me. And since people in this place tend to like their anniversaries, I thought I would celebrate mine with an invitation for you.

I'm in Goldenrod City for the next week. If you want a battle, you're more than welcome to it.

I have eyes all over the city. Set up a trap for me and I'll know. But meet me as my equal and you'll be rewarded.

No tricks. No lies. Just battle.

Contact me and we'll see what can be arranged.

[The text is punctuated with an image, taken in what appears to be a mostly-dark meeting room; the focus of the picture is on a set of six Ultra Balls, shining dimly from what little light is illuminating the room. Visible behind the table they're set on is what's clearly a Team Rocket member, visible from the upper chest to about his hips; he's leaning against the table, gloved hands braced on either side of the set of Ultra Balls, and as usual, the red R insignia on his shirt is able to be seen easily enough.

The second attachment is a brief video. Though his face is still out of the shot, the Rocket in question seems to have seated himself behind that table; the Ultra Balls are still displayed in front of him, but a white card is obscuring some of them, pinned between two of his fingers. The card is handwritten in thick, blocky lettering, as though they've been written over repeatedly, obscuring the handwriting and making them less identifiable.

MY NAME IS SETH. A YEAR AGO TODAY, I BEGAN MY WORK.

AND I KNOW SOME OF YOU HAVE WANTED TO MEET ME IN PERSON.

He turns the card over slowly; there are two words written on the back, in the same style as the front.

ANY CHALLENGERS?]

[OOC]

[If there are any takers when it comes to this challenge of Kimblee's, there will be a log set up later this week to accommodate all your battling needs! This post is for the sake of arranging such things, should anyone be interested in trying to throttle the bastard. This isn't a plot so much as it is a post in two parts, so to speak.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And do you really think it's that easy for me? That I'm simply doing this to manipulate you or something? Do you think this is easy for me?

I don't handle things well, you know that. I'm a paranoid wreck most of the time, Kimblee, and if you expect me to magically get better then you have another thing coming.

You're avoiding the issue.

What do you want me to do? This isn't something I can control.

So you legitimately think I'm untrustworthy. That's what you're saying to me - that everything I'm saying is a lie or manipulation, intended to harm you or otherwise get at you somehow. That's what you believe our relationship is?

No. That's not what I believe. What I believe is that you're only interested in your own needs and what you'll get out of it. When I get angry, I lash out. I need to establish control and hurt you as badly as you hurt me. No, it's not healthy. No, it's not a good way - or even a decent way - of handling it. But that's how I deal with things and I can't change that. You think I haven't tried? Do you seriously think I haven't tried to be good to you? That I would continue to do this even knowing that it's hurting you? Do you really think I'm that cruel?

...would you have me tolerate this sort of behavior from anyone else?

If someone else were to tell me exactly what you just told me - that they "needed" to hurt me for reasons that they admit are paranoid and don't always make sense, and that I need to simply deal with it because that's how things are, and that they were going to continue to harm me with the full knowledge that that's what they were doing - would you have me tolerate that, or would you tell me not to?

I'm legitimately interested in your answer.

Of course I wouldn't. Things are different between us; they always have been. Normal people don't react like this; do you think I don't know that? We're the furthest thing from normal, Kimblee. If you're expecting me to just adapt like you can, then I'm sorry, but it's not happening. I've tried. I've tried everything short of simply leaving and nothing works. I can't control it, it just happens.

I don't think you understand what I'm telling you.

I'm not going to tolerate you continuing to act like this toward me.

[Archer is silent for a moment, simply staring at Kimblee. It takes a bit longer than usual for the rage to set in, but when it does, it's as relentless as ever.]

Oh, right, of course. Excuse me. Because naturally if you're not getting your way you're going to threaten to leave. You know how dependent I am on you. I've told you before that I have difficulty even functioning when you're not around. I should have seen this coming; I really should have. It was a mistake to let you know just how much power you have over me because look what you fucking do with it. I told you I've tried to stop it. I've done everything in my power to change. I can't do it. I can't change the way I act. But no, that's not good enough for you, is it? It never is. Nothing is ever fucking good enough for you? You don't want a superior officer - a friend, someone who fucking understands you better than anyone else - what you want is someone who will always do exactly what you want them to. They'll give you the orders you need, they'll treat you perfect all the time, and sure, while we're at it, let's make certain that they'll let you do whatever the fuck you want, regardless of how that might impact future plans! You want someone to be as fucking perfect as you are, someone who can do no wrong and god forbid you try to place the blame on them because guess what? It's your fault! Every-fucking-thing is always your fault and how dare you attempt to claim otherwise because they're fucking gracing you with their presence and loyalty and every-fucking-thing else!

I've had it! You seem to think that I'm the only person doing the abusing here and you're completely fucking flawless. Well guess what? You're as far from flawless as I am! Oh sure, you'll acknowledge that you have a few minor flaws every so often, but every single damn time it comes down to it, it's always my fault. Everything. Is. My. Fault. Even this argument? It's my fault that I can't control my feelings well enough to come up with a decent response that won't hurt your delicate, precious feelings because god forbid I can't steel myself the way you do and rationalize everything, by which I mean finding some other way to blame me.

You have it fucking easy! You get to sit back and take orders and do whatever the hell you want while relying on me for everything. When was the last time you sat down and planned something out? And no, I don't mean engaging the network at large! I have spent month preparing for our next attack - making sure that we can handle our target, making sure that there won't be any screw ups and yes, double checking the information your little friend gave us to make sure he didn't get things wrong - and what are you doing? Challenging everyone else because you aren't satisfied with the orders I'm not giving you. Oh, but if I rushed into this you would be uncomfortable dealing with the Psychic-types again and if we failed then guess what? It's my fault for not planning things through and making sure that everything would work out. And of course, I have to prove myself to you because I haven't ever led a successful attack back home and nothing I've done here matters because you only care about tactical experience on the field of battle and clearly this doesn't count! It only counts when I'm having an emotional reaction - that I can't control despite having tried to numerous times - and when I fail because then you get to look all high-and-fucking-mighty and tell me that I've "disappointed" you.

I am done with this! I'm not going to put myself under any more stress! I'm not going to try to plan things for you to do, or go out of my way to make sure you're comfortable with what I'm planning! If you want to leave then get the hell out of here. I'm not putting up with a minute more of your ridiculous double-standards! If you claim to hate hypocrisy so much why don't you go fucking evaluate how you've been treating me.

[...Archer, while he's sure that was a really impassioned and powerful speech just now, his brain kind of checked out somewhere around the third time you called him abusive and the subject of your rage switched from him to General You and back to him again.

All right. Let's. Try to pick our way through that veritable minefield of...whatever the fuck that was.]

...listen to me. I'm not trying to insult you, nor am I trying to find fault with what you're saying. I'm not looking for things to pick apart and criticize; I'm also not trying to find an excuse to leave. Nothing you explain to me right now will make me leave. I'm going to stay here with you until we've worked this out; I'm not abandoning you. But I cannot understand what you're trying to communicate to me.

You know I don't always understand emotional matters; assume this is a problem with my comprehension, if it suits you. You've given me a lot to try to work through, and I don't understand all of it. I want to understand you; start from what you believe to be the most relevant point and we'll work from there.

[Archer doesn't respond at first, continuing to glare at Kimblee and clench his hands at his sides. He looks like he's considering lashing out and hitting Kimblee, but he ultimately doesn't. He's trembling slightly with pent-up rage that he can't find any way to properly express, but then something Kimblee said simply causes the fight to leave him.

He doesn't understand. Yes, Kimblee has difficulty understanding emotional matters. He knows that. He doesn't understand why this is effecting him like this. He should still be infuriated with Kimblee for refusing to engage in a shrieking match (regardless of the fact that Kimblee doesn't scream) and he's obviously blocking Archer's rage.

Archer finally returns to the desk, sitting back down and glaring at the research notes, like it's their fault somehow.]

...I can't always control how I react. In fact, I usually can't control how I react. It's not healthy, and it's certainly not beneficial to our relationship at all. I understand that. If there was some way for me to change it, I would. I've tried everything I can think of to control my anger, but nothing ever works.

So you say you won't put up with that. I understand that and if this were any other situation - any normal situation - I would agree whole-heartedly. You shouldn't be treated like that. They way you said that implied that I would have to find some way to change things or you would leave. I've told you how important you are to me and how I can't even function without you here. It sounds to me like you're using that against me; either I will find some way to change what I've already told you I can't change, or you'll simply leave.

It's manipulative as hell, something I have gone out of my way to make sure I never do to you. I promised you I wouldn't use anything like that against you and it's been a long time since I last did anything like that. It's only fair that you return the same courtesy to me, isn't it?

...first of all, we're going to take this supposed notion of what we will and won't use against one another off the table entirely, because that little speech back there crossed so many lines with me that I don't even know where to begin. You use things that you claim you would never use against me quite frequently, actually, so I'm not going to answer for what we should and shouldn't try to manipulate one another with.

I'm not asking you to change the emotional reaction. If that can't be helped, then so be it. I'm not going to try to argue about what you feel, because I have no way of knowing and it isn't my place to dictate it. But telling me that you have no control over what you say to me isn't going to be acceptable, because I believe you do. Saying that you're intentionally trying to hurt me when you're angry implies some semblance of control over what you're saying. I won't try to claim it's good control, but you at least have some idea of what you're saying and doing. Take time to temper it. Does that make sense?

Edited 2013-03-09 22:58 (UTC)

Then give me some space. Don't approach me with the idea that we're going to work everything out right now. You'll need to give me time to figure out what to say and how to say it best.

I don't recall approaching you when you started with that screaming fit with me earlier.

You also didn't bother to tell me that you were planning on doing something that could potentially out yourself. I didn't handle it well, no, but you could have at least told me what you planned on doing to ensure that your cover wouldn't be blown.

You aren't listening.

And as usual, this is entirely my fault.

That isn't what I said.

No, but you're doing a damn good job implying it.

[Archer if you keep this up then so help him he will hit you with a chair - ]

I asked you to temper your speech. You refuse to take any responsibility and instead provided me with excuses. Yes, this much is your fault. Not everything. This. Better?

I provided you with reasons for why I have difficulty tempering my speech. Not excuses. As usual, you responded by completely ignoring everything I was saying and dismissing it entirely. I apologize if it came off as making excuses; that not my intent.

[......]

Answer something for me. Why do you think I leave?

I promise this is relevant; I'm not saying that I'm going to leave you now. I just want to know what you think in regards to why I do it. Do you believe I'm punishing you?

[Why is this relevant if he isn't going to leave?]

...Yes, I do believe that's part of it. Though I imagine it's to give us both some time to cool off before we attempt to work things out.

Then you need to learn that not everything is about you.

I leave because I can't handle being around you anymore. I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm not trying to punish you. I simply can't take it anymore.

This entire discussion has been you yelling at me about how manipulative I am for not being able to simply stand here and take it if you want to punish me for no reason. What a terrible person I am for not tolerating your treatment. Because if I leave, it's hurting you.

Your mindset is so self-centered it disgusts me, in regards to this. Do you honestly not understand why it's repulsive to tell someone they have to tolerate the sort of things you intentionally and knowingly do, because it's going to hurt you if they don't?

[Archer stares at Kimblee in disbelief. Did he really just say that?]

You need to learn to pay attention. If I believed that everything was about me do you think I would bother with half the shit I do for you? I have been working myself ragged to make sure this next attack will go off without a hitch. Why? I certainly don't need to attack anyone. I would be perfectly fine waiting until the right moment to strike the Executives and never bothering with any other minor attacks. I have more than enough to earn another promotion. There is literally no reason for me to bother attacking anyone else.

But I'm doing all this for you. You want to be entertained, you want to fight, and you want to be allowed to be as reckless as you desire. Fine. I don't like it, but I can set things up for you and make sure that things will go well. I have been doing everything in my power to make sure that this will go smoothly and that my Pokémon can handle the stress of controlling a Gym Leader so you won't have to deal with it. You told me how badly that bothered you and I've listened. I told you that you won't have to go through that again, but that is a crucial part of this plan. I've been working to make sure that my Pokémon can handle that part alone.

That's not the extent of it and you know that. If I didn't care about you, do you really think I would try so hard to please you? To make sure that you're at least content? I can't make you happy, Kimblee. I've accepted that. I do what I can for you. And yet you turn around and claim that I'm selfish when I explain why I do the things that I do? Do you think I like being this way? Do you think I enjoy driving everyone away? Do you think I want to fight with you about this?

And you have the audacity to claim that I only think about myself.

[He folds his hands and leans his chin against them, but it doesn't do much to hide just how badly he's shaking.]

I'm not telling you to tolerate the way I treat you. You want me to work on changing, fine. I've already told you that I've done everything I can think of to change, but fine. I'll try again just for you. All I'm asking is that you give me space when I ask for it. That's it. But no, that's apparently asking for too damn much, isn't it?

You don't know when to back off. I thought it was just you being particularly bullheaded, but now I genuinely think that you don't understand. I need time to work through things on my own. I never wanted to tell you about Kimbley and what happened in my version of Amestris. Was it the right choice? Probably not. Would I have told you eventually? Yes. But no, you backed me into a corner and forced answers out of me; you have forced me into talking numerous times about things I didn't want to discuss. I chose to engage you in this argument, but this is one of the few times that I have actively had a choice in the matter.

Yes, I shriek at you and say things I never should say when we're arguing and yes, sometimes I do initiate the arguments. I'm not perfect. But for all those other times where I haven't wanted to discuss things with you and when I haven't wanted to get into an argument like this, you've constantly pushed me into it. Allow me to have my space when I ask for it. That's all I'm asking. I'll work on tempering my speech if you'll work on listening when I tell you to back off.

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