NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[doitrockapella]

I think the polite word is "eccentric" — developed for precisely that reason.

Was the military your ticket out of North City?

[explosivecombat]

Yes and no. It was more or less expected that I would serve the government somehow, since it's the most stable job that one can have in Amestris and the benefits make it incredibly worthwhile; my father was also a soldier, so there was that to consider.

I didn't make the actual decision until I was a bit older, however, and I've no doubt that it would have been fine if I'd decided to go into something else; it just so happened that my alchemy was beneficial to the military, and I turned out to be an excellent soldier for several reasons.

[doitrockapella]

But your mother was the alchemist. A healer, wasn't it?

Every once in a while I catch myself wondering what I might've ended up doing with my life, if things hadn't gone the way they did. If I still would've ended up drawn to my...career of choice, regardless.

[explosivecombat]

She was, yes. She was also a bit appalled at what I planned to do with myself when she heard about it; she was killed in an accident shortly before I enlisted, so I suppose it hardly mattered either way.

That's an interesting line of thought, however; it's not one that I pursue often myself, but I have to wonder how my life would have turned out were it not for a few key events.

Do you ever come to any conclusions?

[doitrockapella]

What kind of accident?

I'll still answer you, mind; I just want to finish hearing about your mother first.

[explosivecombat]

One of her students caused a rebound.

[doitrockapella]

That's horrible.

What happened to the student?

[explosivecombat]

I didn't seek them out in retribution, if that's what you're wondering.

Either way, as I said, it hardly matters now.

[doitrockapella]

I didn't think you would've. But I wouldn't have taken it well, myself, to go on with my life knowing that I'd killed my teacher.

Take comfort in that, if you like.

[explosivecombat]

I have many responses to that, none of which you're going to like.

[doitrockapella]

I like the fact that you managed to restrain yourself long enough to spare me. Particularly since I think I know you well enough by now to imagine several of them all on my own.

You're lucky to have memories of your parents.

[explosivecombat]

They would hate everything about what I've become, I'm sure.

[doitrockapella]

But that doesn't bother you.

[explosivecombat]

It's more that the world doesn't stop for the dead, and I don't regret anything that I've done.

[doitrockapella]

Taken out of context, I'd almost be inclined to agree with you.

Is this really the sort of conversation you were hoping for?

[explosivecombat]

Not particularly.

You did choose to pursue this line of questioning, however, despite the fact that I offered topic changes several times and you acknowledged them yourself.

[doitrockapella]

And now you've answered your own question from earlier — as to what you've done now.

I never come to any conclusions about how my life would be different because I have no idea what my life was like before the fire.

[explosivecombat]

I'm not following, but so be it.

[doitrockapella]

You took after your parents, didn't you? They influenced you.

[explosivecombat]

I suspect we're on different wavelengths, but I'll see where it goes.

I suppose they did, yes.

[doitrockapella]

I don't have any indication what mine were like. They might've been rich, poor, happy, spiteful...I don't know. I don't know anything about them, so any guess I might make about what life would've been like with them is just as likely as any other guess. It's a blank slate. So I can only imagine that I could've been anything.

[explosivecombat]

You're also speaking to someone who fully acknowledges the fact that those who were the strongest influences on his life would hate everything he did with the life they influenced. I also grew up somewhere that specialized in producing war, coal, and...well, cows.

So my options were limited, and since I dislike getting dirty and can't stand livestock, there isn't much of a question what I would have ended up doing with myself, living situation notwithstanding; I would have gone into the military eventually - that's more or less a given, especially considering the point I made earlier about how it would be the surest way to guarantee stability. Perhaps I still would have been a State Alchemist; perhaps I would have gone through basic and become a regular soldier, though it's more likely that I would have been shoved into some desk job because I'm a terrible shot. Either way, my life has had very few options, all things considered, and as such trying to consider things from the beginning like that has never been a problem for me.

However, since it's spoiled and cruel to assume that everyone has had the same life choices as I've been presented with, consider the insensitivity apologized for, at the very least.

[doitrockapella]

It's things like this that make me wish you could experience my world. It's so much bigger than yours, for one thing, and the possibilities are so much more vast.

But my old teacher the psychopath once told me that I'm a thief at heart, and that's what makes me wonder if my own options weren't limited in some way by that, even so. Maybe no matter what my nurture might have been, it's just my nature to be what I am.

[explosivecombat]

And are you dissatisfied with what you are?

[doitrockapella]

I haven't been yet.

The only times I've ever entertained notions otherwise were when it ended up hurting someone else. And even then, I regretted the harm, but not the choice.