NIETZSCHE; DEAD PHILOSOPHERS' INBOX

[explosivecombat]

[TEXT; LOCKED TO doitrockapella]

The offer for conversation is always open, should you desire to take me up on it; I can't guarantee that I'll respond immediately, nor will it necessarily be the response you want, but I'll always respond in some way.

In the name of enlightened discourse.

Comments

[explosivecombat]

No.

Not in the same way that you would define it, anyway.

[doitrockapella]

At least that saves me the necessity of contemplating our rhetorical audience.

I'd suggest avoiding the word entirely. A bit of advice between contemporaries, coming from someone with some experience in reacting like a human.

[explosivecombat]

And why should I? I'm well aware that it shouldn't be said for no reason, and it's not being said with manipulative intentions in mind. Were either of those conditions different, then yes, I'm well aware that it should be avoided regardless of whether saying it seems like a good idea at the time or not.

As it stands, however, it's true enough to not be a complete lie, and it's something that he rather plainly wants to hear - it obviously makes him happy and it's not detrimental to either of us if I say it, so I don't see why it shouldn't be said.

[doitrockapella]

Again, extrapolating solely on the basis of what you've told me and my personal experience reacting in the manner we're discussing, I'd hazard the guess that he plainly wants to hear it as affirmation of the fact that you equally plainly feel it — in, I would guess, the same manner and capacity that he does.

I'm suggesting you should stick with expressing the sentiment you do experience, rather than trying to draw those equivalences, if only because some words come with a mountain of connotation attached, and it can lead to a lot of mistaken assumptions you may not be anticipating.

[explosivecombat]

[...jfc did somebody have a bad breakup recently or]

And what sort of assumptions are you referring to?

[doitrockapella]

[look asshole it is not an easy thing to try to edutainment someone like you into appreciating the feels, ok]

People tend to hear "love" they way they want to hear it, as opposed to the way the speaker means it. To know that and do it anyway is disingenuous.

[explosivecombat]

...Not to be hideously depressing or anything, but it's a bit of a moot point now, anyway.

[doitrockapella]

That doesn't make the advice irrelevant.

[explosivecombat]

Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't. Remember that I've already said that I have no intention of finding anyone else.

[doitrockapella]

Are you really so averse to receiving footnotes and commentary on the perceptions of people who feel things like human beings? I would've thought you'd enjoy it. From a scholarly perspective, if nothing else.

[explosivecombat]

You say that as though I haven't spent my entire life doing that. It's incredibly arrogant of you to assume that you're the first to attempt to give me "insight" as to how supposedly normal people work, especially as I don't recall asking for advice on this particular subject to begin with.

[doitrockapella]

I don't recall claiming I'm not incredibly arrogant on occasion.

And unless that was a rhetorical "why should I" earlier, you can't really fault me for answering.

[explosivecombat]

After you informed me that I should avoid the term entirely, and promptly proceeded to act as though you'd been tremendously spited recently.

[doitrockapella]

[S. I. G. H.]

It was a passing suggestion.

Are you really that interested in hearing all the sordid details?

[explosivecombat]

Should you be willing to provide them, yes.

[doitrockapella]

I was being facetious about the sordid part. You might find them more insipid than anything else.

I had about eighteen hours, all told, between the point when my boyfriend told me he loved me and the point when he was gone. I'm not "tremendously spited", I'm hurt. Add in the recognition that he may not even remember I exist right now, and it's worse so.

It would be worse still on top of it if he'd treated the word the way you described, and only said it because it wasn't completely a lie, and he thought it would make me happy. It wouldn't; it would be horrible to experience. And I wouldn't wish that on your significant other, either.

[explosivecombat]

I doubt you're telling me this because you expect any sort of sympathy or genuine understanding, as I imagine that it's fairly obvious by now that I have none to offer; I won't insult you by pretending. At the same time, I won't pity you for it, either; as well-intentioned as pity tends to be, it's really one of the worst things that people have to offer each other. I will say, however, that I don't find what you're saying to be insipid, and you can consider my earlier remarks withdrawn.

The circumstances between my significant other and I are complicated, at times terribly so; he didn't always understand what was going through my head, but he understood enough to tell me not to try to force a reaction I wasn't having - I believe I told you that last time we spoke. He also knew that I couldn't lie directly to save my life.

I like to think he understood what I was doing.

[doitrockapella]

Honestly, I think I'd be more astounded if he could understand what's going through your head regularly and with certainty. Speaking as someone who's tried a fair amount, with intermittent success.

Love is a complicated business. I'm still not entirely sure if I like it.

[explosivecombat]

I can't say that I understand what you're going through entirely, but my best friend is fully aware of how I am - I've complained to him a few times, with regards to whatever feelings I experience in my significant other's direction. I enjoy him, I enjoy our relationship, but if this is anything like what most people experience on a regular basis then I'm honestly glad I have nothing to do with it ninety percent of the time.

[doitrockapella]

Well, now I'm curious about the other ten percent.

[explosivecombat]

[You are not going to be allowed to fluster him with this, you know.]

Well, you aren't getting any stories, if that's what you're hoping for.

[doitrockapella]

[Do you reenact scenes from famous Disney movies with your heart's desire.]

But are they fun stories?

[explosivecombat]

[LOCKE.]

...Arguably.

[doitrockapella]

If you ever decide you want to trade one for one, let me know.

[explosivecombat]

Equivalent Exchange in action already, I see.

If we're going to do this, then you're going first.