I wouldn't say I lost control, per se. I remember making the decision to do it, and I remember acting on that decision. No, what I was doing was perfectly clear, just like what I was doing tonight was perfectly clear.

[Despite his words, his expression is still perfectly serene.]

Ah, you don't seem to understand; perhaps I haven't explained it very well in the past. The problem isn't that I lose control of myself; I know exactly what I'm doing at times like that.

It just becomes rather impossible for others to control me.

[He tips his head a little; he still doesn't seem too bothered by any of this, his expression dissonantly calm.]

I know that I should obey orders. I know perfectly well what I should be doing at times like that. I just don't happen to care.

Is that better?